New Clinic and lots of Hope

Sorry to keep you all waiting after my visit yesterday. But it actually went very well.

I met with the new doctor at my new clinic and of course already had all my records, testing and all that fun stuff. He talked to me for a long while about what I have had done and what he would like to do next.

So we decided that we are going to do 3-4 months of Clom.id and IUI together. We have never done this, we just skipped on ahead to IVF, mainly because we thought we had a better chance and pooled our limited funds to that. But this clinic is significantly cheaper than my old place. It is going to cost a total of $535 for one round of Clomid with US and IUI, compared to $1625 at my old clinic, that's why we never tried this way, because we thought it would take thousands to do this.

So as soon as my cycle starts which should be in about 4 days, I will call the clinic and then take the Clom.id for days 5-9, then US on day 13, trigger ovulation that or the next day, and then IUI the next day. Then wait 2 wks to see if we conceived. He said we are more than welcome to do IVF after we try the Clom.id induction, if it does not work.

I left there felling so hopeful!!! I mean we can afford this right now, and it feels like I am "doing" something. I know the Lord is in ultimate control but this feels very exciting again. Thank you for your prayers as we undertake more fertility treatments, but these cycles will be much less costly, and invasive. When we did the postcoiltal test at my old clinic, it was inconclusive, so maybe we do have a sperm-mucous problem, and by "air-lifting" the sperm to the top of the uterus, it will overcome that.

So to celebrate our new found hope, we went to eat and while we were waiting for our movie to start, we walked through the mall. Sweetness pulled me in to the Bu.ild-A-Bear store. I have never been in there before, but oh how fun!!!

We built each other a puppy dog, and Sweetness said he wants me to hold this puppy while undergoing all these fertility treatments, and we named it "Hope". He is just so sweet! We had so much fun, almost felt like we were being kids!!!

Then we went and saw the movie celled "Valentine's Day" and boy was it great!!!! Definitely recommend it. We had such a wonderful day from start to finish and I could not ask for more!

I will definitely keep you updated as we progress through these IUI cycles!!!
To God be the Glory!!!

Let the games begin again!

I know I have not blogged in awhile, just been so BUSY of course.....blah blah blah.....

But I had some news I wanted to share. This past weekend, Sweetness and I went on a double date with a friend of mine and her husband. I met her because she is the nurse of one of my top doctors with my old job. Well we of course got around to talking about IVF and how bad this whole situation sucks and how we are looking forward to what comes next.

Well she proceeds to text the doctor she works for because his wife (Lisa) is one of the head nurses at the other infertility clinic in our area, the Jones Institute. This is where IVF was INVENTED, they are the ones who made the first test tube baby! Well Dr. E texted my friend his wife's cell number and told me to call her. So yesterday, I gave her a call and we talked about what all we have been through and what they may think is the next step for us to having a baby.
Well let's just say it helps TO KNOW PEOPLE!!!! So they called today and Lisa was able to hook me up and got me a consultation with the top doctor there this Friday at 1030 am!!! I would be lying if I said I was not excited. I am SUPER excited, I guess just to hear what somebody else has to say about our situation.

One other thing is that at this clinic, they have what is called a "Shared Risk Program" If you meet certain criteria, you can pay a sum for a chance of 2 or 4 tries with IVF, but the catch is if you get pregnant on the first try, then you have paid way more money than needed, but if you need several tries to get pregnant, (like obviously I will), you are assured of the other tries all under that one fee. So we are going to look into this for sure.

I am really looking forward to moving this along, and certainly will let you guys know what he says on Friday!!! Please pray that the Lord's will would be done and what He has for us would be revealed to us and God will make a way if it is HIS will!!!!

Thanks guys!!!

Money and Hope

Well today I am feeling kind of blah. I mean this infertility thing comes and goes, and I really do have faith that we will be parents, but the when??? The why???

I guess I should feel some hope somewhere. We did our taxes, and our refund will enable us to completely pay off our loan we did for our 2 failed IVFs. So that gives us hope to look toward doing it again. We said we had to pay this loan off first in order to do it again, and the Lord has made a way.

With all of my friends pregnant, posting beautiful ultrasound pictures, my heart just cries, it aches, really wondering when that will ever be us. Sweetness is beginning to loose his very hopeful, always positive attitude. That makes me nervous sometimes. He is sad too and that makes me ache also.

I don't want to be a complainer, I just want us to have a family. Jesus, can you please take this pain away??? Would you give us our miracle? Soon???

A weekend to Remember

Well not too much has been going on with Sweetness and I since i posted last. I have been working some really ungodly hours, and will truly be glad when this 5 week "module" is over, and I start teaching some easier classes.

But Sweetness and I just got home from a wonderful marriage conference at the Founder's Inn produced by Family Life, called "A Weekend to Remember." It has been so fun to just get away with my Sweetness and learn God's ideal of marriage, and that they little things we argue about sometimes, really every married couple disagrees about. The speaker is hilarious, and we really laughed our selves silly!

On a good note, we are supossed to get a huge tax return back, and we will be able to completely pay off the loan we took out to do IVF. So hopefully maybe by this summer we can try IVF again. That is our plan anyway.

Each day I have been taking my BBT now. It does not really change all that much, and it just sometimes feels that my body is betraying me. I don't know if we will ever have children, but I certainly hope that the Lord will heal this deep pain in our hearts. The longer it goes on, the more desperate you start to feel sometimes. But infertility does not define us, it is simply a part of who we are.

Sweetness gave me a dozen Confetti roses today (my favorite). So sweet of him. We are going to dinner with family tomorrow evening at PF Chang's so it should shape up to be a real nice Valentine's Weekend. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend filled with love also!!!

How my life came to be filled with .....Sweetness

I have had several people ask me how I met Sweetness. So I thought I would do a blog post about how the Lord worked in such a miraculous way to bring us together.


I was just coming out of a very dark period in my life. Things seemed to be falling apart at the seams. I sold my house and moved about 30 miles south into a very nice apartment complex. The reason I chose this complex is because they allowed large dogs. Even though my babies are not Great Da.nes, they are not teacup poodles either!


Anyway, not long after I moved in, I noticed Sweetness walking his dog also around the complex and we said a friendly hello a couple of times. I began dating a different man, and unbeknownst to me, Sweetness had told my neighbor friends that he wanted to ask me out. Well after several months the other relationship was not going great, but I hate breakups so foolishly I continued with it. Well after speaking to Sweetness several times, he finally got the nerve up to ask me out. I thought "Hey, why not. He seems nice enough."



I remember it was a Thursday night, we went out for Mexican and had a great conversation, but I remember not being able to eat because I was so nervous around him. I thought that must have meant I really liked him! Well as we drove back to our apartment complex, we parked the car, and ended up sitting in the car for the next 4 hours talking. Most of you who know me IRL, know that my faith is a HUGE part of who I am. So because this was the first time we were really talking, I asked Sweetness about his faith and beliefs. Well to boil those 4 hours down, basically he was raised in the Catholic church, but currently did not attend, but was very open and eager to have a closer relationship with the Lord. So I invited him to church with me that Sunday.




We went to church that Sunday and every Sunday from then on. On the 45 minute drive to my church, we shared our hopes and dreams and I explained why my faith was so important, and all that the Lord had done in my life! Because Sweetness was not a christian at the time, I did not feel I could "date" him and I continued on with my other relationship. However I was developing strong feelings for Sweetness and missed him when I wasn't with him. He was quickly becoming my best friend.




Well on December 9, 2007 after church, Sweetness asked Christ to be Lord of his life, and his life changed dramatically! (Not that it was bad or anything, but when the Lord takes over your life, you are a NEW creature!) Not long after that I realized the other man was not for me, and soon began dating Sweetness. We grew together so quickly, and now had the common thread in our life of Christ as our Savior!




He proposed to me on July 26, 2008 and I knew without a doubt that the Lord had brought us together! (The picture on the top of the blog in the circle is the moment we got engaged!) He has grown into the most amazing Christian. He loves God with all his heart and I feel privileged to have been able to be a part of leading him to the Lord.




We were married 6 months later and I am still amazed when I look back at the amazing circumstances that brought us to this place!!! I adore him. I can't imagine life without him, and and so glad I don't have to.




Thank you Lord Jesus, for knowing exactly who/what I needed in a man, and fashioned my Sweetness to be my perfect helpmate in this life. I am so truly blessed to have this wonderful gift!


Ending with a scripture-

"Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm,and he guided them to their desired haven."

- Psalm 107:28-30

My dogs can sing!!!!

So we are basically snowed in this weekend, and it sure has been nice. So in my boredom, I finally got a video of something my dogs, Baxter and Maggie, do almost daily......SING!!! They just start randomly howling, and it really cracks me up!!!

Hope you enjoy!!! This is sure to put a smile on your face!

My Birthday

Well today is my 34th Birthday (and Oprah's 56th). Haha! It has been a really nice day. It started off with Mom and I pallin' around, then we went and picked up Sweetness. All 3 of us had a very nice lunch together. Then I went into work for awhile. One of my co-workers gave me a small gift. It really was so kind, because we are very new friends, but I have a feeling we will be great friends.

Then I headed to teach my class this evening, planning to let them out very early so I could go to dinner with my family. Well when I walked in, the students all sang Happy Birthday to me. Then they gave me a very sweet card, which they had all signed. Here is a picture.

They then brought in all these beautiful cupcakes for everyone to eat. It was really very touching. They just met me on Monday on the first day of class!! Then I gave them a quiz, lectured on one quick chapter, and we dismissed by 7:30pm. I then headed over to the Cheesec.ake Fact.ory to meet up with my parents and Sweetness.

We had such a nice dinner, and then I got to open my presents. Here is the incredibly sweet card from my husband.

And one from my parents......

And then, I got to open my present from Sweetness. Here it is......

He bought me a diamond "Journey" necklace. I have been wanting one for awhile! It is really just gorgeous!!! Wanna see a close-up???? Okay here ya go......

I am so blessed. I mean I truly am. I have an amazing marriage, an equally amazing husband, a great job, wonderful parents and great friends. It is hard to think that today I am now only 1 year away from the dreaded 35 year old mark when your fertility "drops off significantly."

I never dreamed I would be this old and not have a baby, but I am really trying to trust the Lord, who has given me all my other blessings. My prayer is that by the time I am 35, I am either pregnant or holding a baby in my arms.

So we are home now finally, and we are all snuggled in waiting for the snow storm to start. We NEVER get snow, but they are actually saying we are GOING TO GET IT TONIGHT (6-12") !!!!! I can not wait!!!

I am going to do my next blog post on how Sweetness and I met, as I have received a lot of questions on that, and it really is a very neat story.

Thank you to everyone who has called, texted, faceb.ooked, and sent cards to me. I have an awesome support group!!! I am really looking forward to this next year in my life......I know it will be great!