Tuesday, August 24, 2010

It's raining inside.....

So it's 7am, and I am already sitting at my desk at work. It is pouring down rain outside..... but oddly I feel like it is raining in my heart. I am such a mixed bag of emotions right now. I know I must trust the Lord, but I feel so sad, like this didn't work, then I go back to "it's too early to tell yet." It daunting really how much my emotions can change.

I was driving to work this morning and just started tearing up, wondering if God really does see me? Out of all the billions of people in the world, does He see my broken heart? Does He really care about me having a baby? My head wants to cry NOOOO!!!! But my heart knows what I believe and I am forced back to it time and again.

I think my good friend having her baby the other night kind of reiterated it to me how sad I am waiting for MY turn. It seems no one in my family or that I know IRL can relate at all. They all have at least ONE child. We would take JUST ONE!!

So enough of my pity party, I have students to teach and they are expecting a happy, cheery Dr. M!!!

And just now, as I was typing this, Sweetness just sent me the following text message: "Babe, our time will come and God will reward you for your faithfulness. Just remember all the positive feelings that you've been experienceing that you havent felt before and focus on nothing else. I do love you more than anything else."

WOW!!! What an awesome reminder from the Lord of the bessings I DO have in my life. I still have freinds out there waiting to find Mr. Right, so I consider myself to be truly blessed indeed.....