Sunday, September 4, 2011

I am beyond words....

Well guys I have been played the biggest fool ever.  I  still riding home with Sweetness so I can not do a full blogpost on this phone but here is a small synopsis....... Went to her house to pick her up, she's texting saying she's not home, we knock on the door and speak to her stunned father for 45 mins-- cluing him in on all the lies she has told us.  But basically she has lied about everything..... She was going behind our back and made arrangements to have the baby adopted by Catholic Charities.  She never had any plan to come back with us or even giving us the baby.  So I let her have it last night and this morning...... I told her she is the most cruel and mean person I have ever known that preyed on our raw emotions of being infertile and that she has to live with what she has done to us.  She doesn't even care, but she did say that we can have her if Cody ( the father) gets her.
So basically our only saving grace is we are trying to get Cody back to PA before the baby is born to exert his rights and then I THINK my attorney said he can cross state lines with the baby and maybe do the adoption in VA.  I still am waiting on our attorney to call me back.  And I'm sorry to say but our nephew has his priorities screwed up.....he is living in a shelter in AZ and just found a job and his place at that shelter.is.contingent on the job.  But I just told him he.created this innocent.baby and he better come save her from the crazy girl who is her mother.  He brought us into this and we have traveled all over the eastern US to make this happen so he better get here.  So he said he would call us back and try to make some calls etc. And I guess we will fly him out to PA.
Needless to say I am so broken, so broken...... I don't care what happens to me.  Sweetness and I have just rode in silence all the way home as I sit and cry.  I just have lost all faith in God and humanity in general.  How could I be such a fool?????  Guess the joke is on me.

11 comments:

  1. i do not know you, but you are a mutual friend to two of my old friends from highschool, katrina and amy. your story hit a nerve with me. i have the tenderest place for the folks that struggle with infertility, and have lots of questions to my awesome GOD for why some women can (who don't deserve them), and why some women can't (who desperately deserve them). i am moved to tears while reading this post and i am about to read further to get caught up on your story. i'm not going to say that i understand your anger on your level, because i do not. but...i am a girl in florida, who you do not know, that is praying hard. that i promise. bless your heart!

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  2. I am so mad! And I am so sad - for you and especially for little Chloe. I have prayed many times for her, asking the Lord to put her in a safe home where she will be raised to know and love Him. I don't know why this is turning out the way it is right now, but this isn't the end yet, and I will still be praying. Some times things look absolutely impossible, and then God works.

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  3. Oh, Heather, I am so sorry. You are not a fool. She is crazy. You were brought into this mess for a reason and while you may never know why sometimes it helps just knowing there's a reason.
    I pray that you are still able to through some miracle, get this baby, but if not; I pray that you have peace that surpasses all understanding. There is a baby for you somewhere. God will lead you to him/her in His perfect timing.

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  4. Wow i am so sorry! You guys have done so much in order for you to bring your miracle home and i am so sorry that it hasnt worked out! I cannot believe that some people act that way and string people on. It really sucks!( pardon my language) I will be praying for you both! I hope something good comes out of this!

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  5. God has a plan for you. This plan might not be revealed this week or even this year, but I know there is one for you. Cling to your faith. I am so sorry that this is so beyond messed up!! Cry, scream if you need to, but remember there are many people praying for you!!!
    Jessica

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  6. Hi!

    I have been reading your blog for about 6 months now, but I have never commented. I found your blog on Katrina's blog and your story just intrigued me to keep coming back and reading more!

    I honestly don't know what to say, except that I am so sorry. I feel like I know you and my husband and I have been praying for you, for some time now. I had a nightmare last night ( because I went to sleep praying for you) that "baby mama" didn't come home with you, and I have been anxiously waiting for your blog to update all day. I was heartbroken when I finally read the update. I just don't understand how anyone could be so cruel...
    I am sure that you know this and have heard it a million times or more, but God sees the "big picture" and he has a plan for you.

    My family and I will continue to pray for you, and hope that the best comes out of this situation.

    God Bless!

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  7. I am so incredibly sorry. This angers me so much that someone could be so horrible. How is that even possible??? What is wrong with this lady? I pray that God will protect you and show you that He is still with you and that He knows what He is doing.

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  8. I wanted to add that I am praying for you.

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  9. I dont know you but I'm so very sorry,know that you are in my prayers.

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  10. Oh Heather,
    I really have no words. I am so sorry for you and Sweetness. Please know that God has a perfect plan for you. I know right now you are so broken and angry. Let Him know it. Scream, cry, yell, whatever you need to do. He is big enough to handle it. But then remember to crawl in His lap and let Him hold you!

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  11. I have no words that will make this better, I only know of your heartache. We had a failed match in December, granted it wasn't someone we knew but we did doctors appointments, and lunch with the birth parents. We were there the whole time she labored, and held him minuets after he was born (and for hours). The whole next day, we were with him, as his birth parents left the room, and didn't come back for 5+ hours. The next day they changed their mind. We were devistated. DEVISTATED. It took months of healing, to wade through our grief. Fast forward 8 months. I'm holding my son. The son God had intended for us. I'm not sure why we had to go through the failed match, but for some reason it was in His plan. I KNOW none of this helps in the midst of grief where you are, but from someone who has been there (not so long ago), please, I pray that you know, you will get your happy ending. My heart breaks for you, I know the pain/frustration/anger/ hurt you are going through. Please email me if you ever want to talk/vent/whatever! xoxo lovemarriagecarriage (at) gmail (dot) com.

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