Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Update.... on our miracle

Several of you have been dying for details and an update so here it is.....

Yes I have spoken to the birthmom a lot, she is so young, and she LOVES to text!!! I have never texted so much in my life!!! But she seems to be sure this what she is going to do. There are many details to be worked out, and my attorney is trying to get all the facts for me about what we need to do as far as doing an interstate adoption. The birthmom lives in Pennsylvania and we have toyed with the idea of her coming to live with us until the birth- but then what happens after the birth?
And if we travel to Pennsylvania for the birth, we have to be prepared to stay there for 1-2 weeks until the interstate compact is completed. Soooo many decisions yet, but mainly the financial aspect of all this is daunting.

I am not mentioning the money for anyone to feel pity but for my prayer warriors know how to pray. I am standing on my Lord's promises and I know that if this is what He has for us, then He will make a way when there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see, He will make a way for us to bring this baby home!!!

So we have moved forward and are painting the nursery as well as getting everything together for our impending arrival.

You will notice i added the baby ticker to the left on the top. I just want something to count down the days as we anxiously anticipate this amazing event!!

Also Sweetness and I are traveling to his BF wedding on Friday, July 15th. Well we figured out that birth mom is only 1 hour and 23 minutes from where we are going for the wedding, soooooo we have made plans to go see her and meet with her so she can get a better feel for us also. I am very excited but again trying to keep it all in check.

And on the surrogacy front.......... I go to the clinic on Friday to get all the papers finalized, and then next Thursday, July 7th is baseline day and I begin stimming to get my eggs. I am so nervous about how all this may work out- but again Faith isn't faith until it's all you have!!!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

A Miracle in the Making.....



Well folks it seems just when you have every thing planned out as best as you can, a turn of events can fall into your lap out of nowhere!!! Yesterday our lives were surprised with a miracle in the making. Let me explain....

Sweetness' nephew, who is 18, called and left a message saying he needed to talk to his uncle right away, and sounded very distraught. So he called him back and to our total surprise he informed us that he had gotten his ex-girlfriend pregnant!!! We had no idea..... Well to make it worse they both have NO MONEY, no car, and no way to care for this precious little baby to be born in October. Well I guess you know where this is going, he wants us to adopt the baby so it stays in the family. WOW. JUST WOW.

So you all know we have been down this road before so we are cautiously excited. WE spoke to him at length about if he realized the seriousness of the situation and that it can not be undone. Is he willing to be known as a cousin and not the father etc.? He said he knows this is the right thing to do, he can not provide for any one let alone himself with anything. So fast forward a couple of hours and we spoke with the young girl, and she said her parents are very angry at her. They told her if she keep the baby, she will have to move out etc. She said she had made up her mind awhile ago that she was going to place the baby for adoption, and she would rather us have the child than go through an agency.

There is so much more I could write, but right now we are cautiously excited, and have soooo much to do. The baby is a little girl, who is due Oct. 28th. They all live in Pennsylvania and we are planning a trip up there to visit and meet her in about 6-8 weeks.

So we are asking all of our prayer warriors to please pray that HIS will is done in this situation for everyone concerned most importantly this innocent little baby to have the best life she can. We are really thrilled, I actually opened the door to the nursery and sat in there today and imagined what it would be like to rock her and love her. What would it look like to look back in my car and see a car seat there?? Oh the simple yet so exciting things that we may embark on in just a few short months!!!

I know you guys will have some questions for us, mainly WHAT ABOUT THE SURROGACY????? We spoke with our surrogate today and she is very supportive and understanding of what this situation means for us. But we will continue this process and see if we can have our biological child. We may have a house full very soon!!!! But given this situation now, we may only transfer one embryo into our surrogate because I know I could not handle triplets if she got pregnant with twins!

So wow we have a lot going on, but its all good and we are so thankful that the Lord has heard our cry and is answering our prayers.

We covet your prayers and we are mainly concerned about the financial aspect of all of this, so we ask for discernment and direction in how to juggle it all. Thank you for walking this journey with us!!!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

ohhh Lupron......how I detest you.....

Hey guys.... quick update!

My surrogate and I are finally both on Lupron and the BCPs. She reports feeling fine, I on the other hand am having horrible headaches- hot-flashes, and mood swings. But all this I expect every time on Lupron. I really HATE this drug. But I will endure for my children.

Other than that, not much is happening. We are in full steam ahead mode and getting super uber excited!!!!

One thing I would like to mention is if all reading this would pray for a coworker of mine that was murdered Monday evening. He was gunned down on the street, it remains unsolved, but it is so sad and tragic. It just reminds of the frailty and brevity of life. I pray he knew the Lord and he is with Him now.

Thanks ladies for all the love and support...... its getting ever so close!

I will post later the pics from the past weekend.....I promise! (I forgot my camera cord or I would be doing it right now!)

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Father's Day

Well today has been a pretty good day. I had high hopes that our surrogate would be pregnant by today and my Sweetness would be a daddy today (expectant even though), but we are still so full of hope!!

Tomorrow morning I begin the Lupron and my surrogate started this morning! We are getting there!

We had an awesome weekend at the Boardwalk art show, I took a lot of pictures that I will upload tomorrow when I have some time. We bought a really cool piece of art and I will share it with you guys then.

So for all of those Dads out there (and those hoping to be)- hang in there and celebrate the Abba Father we have in the Lord who holds us when we feel like we just can't go on.

Love you all!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

We finally have a calendar!!!!

So finally after at least 6 months of waiting, we have a calendar of dates that will take us all the way to the transfer to our surrogate!! I am soooooo excited!

So it will basically all begin on Sunday the 19th- my Surrogate starts Lupron
June 20th- I begin Lupron
June 27th - I stop BCPs (thank goodness- I hate these things!)
July 7th- I begin the stimulation to get my eggies
July 19 or 20th - egg retrieval!!!-- then fertilization
July 22 or 23rd- transfer of our little ones to my surrogate!

I am so thrilled! I cannot believe we have made it this far!! Also tomorrow, Sweetness and I go into the clinic and get a couple more blood tests done on him, and sign all the final consents! I am just so filled with hope- we finally have arrived!

So I will keep you updated and we will go through this together!

Oh one more thing I think I forgot to mention a while back..... Sweetness and I bought season passes to the zoo here in town. They are actually year- round passes, you can go all year to our zoo and tonight they are having a member's only shindig at the zoo at night. This should be cool because the zoo closes everyday at 5pm- so you never get to walk around at night. We are really looking forward to it.

Thanks again for every one's support- and I am soooooo ready to get this thing done!!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

A Milestone.... and a message

What milestone you may ask? Well one that I never thought I would be so happy about ...EVER..... but my surrogate finally got her cycle yesterday!!! This means we can finally get the calender on how they are going to line us up on our cycle dates and get this show on the road!!!

I will let you guys know when the nurse calls back and we finally have some dates.

In other news, yesterday morning I woke up and rolled over and grabbed my phone (which I do every morning). And I was looking at the emails that came in from overnight. Well to my surprise there was an email from someone named QBrezzy at aol. Now I do not know this person, but man she has a lot of nerve. she proceeded to tell me she thinks it despicable that I am "begging everyone for money" when I am not even willing to work myself. WHAT???? Excuse me??? Did you just send this to ME???

I was so angry, and then hurt and then like who is this? So I wrote her back, but just in case she reads here again. I wanted to just say this.....

You don't know me, and I don't know you. But if you did know me you would KNOW that I work a full time job tirelessly everyday of my life and always have. I also am actively looking for a part-time job and spend my weekends filling out applications for them to try to make this surrogate situation easier on us financially. You have no right, and it is none of your business to even question what I do or whether I have a job or not. And secondly I have NEVER asked a single person for money.... EVER. Some of my friends suggested I put the PayPal button on my blog, and some have even donated to help us- we have spent over $100,000 trying to have a child and that kind of money certainly does not come about with me sitting at home all day eating ice cream.

Please don't ever come back to my blog- this is a place for me and my husband to chronicle our journey to parenthood and for the people who love us to keep up with us.

Thank you to all of you who do love us, support us and p[ray for us. We feel the Lord working in all ways to bring a beautiful outcome out of this pain!

Love you all.....

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

My surrogate....



Sorry there has been a lull in me posting this post. Several of you have reminded me from my last post that I promised to post on my surrogate and some things that have been happening. So here it goes.

Let me begin by saying I so appreciate all of you who I had texted last week asking for prayer as we had to make some huge decisions on what to do. And by that I mean, our financial situation has become so stretched that I was seriously questioning if it was even reasonable to go forward. When I signed the surrogate agreement, we were going to use the donated embryos with her. But because of many factors (the KELL situation being just one) that I wont get into here, it has evolved into me going through another IVF cycle costing thousands that I really had not planned on. Not to mention the surrogate must get what is due her for her incredible kindness.

So for several days I had been in knots trying to decided what to do, what to say to her and all of that. The night before I spoke to her, I literally did not sleep a a wink!

Sooooo Sweetness and I prayed alot about it and I called her and we talked honestly about all the finances and some other things we were both hoping for out of this whole situation. I can not tell you how wonderful my surrogate is. I mean I told her if I had to handpick someone- I really could not have picked anyone better than her. She is a wonderful Christian, I feel as if our babies will be very safe with her. She is very sweet and very honest. She has 2 wonderful little girls, and a very nice supportive husband. She is young and healthy and has very healthy pregnancies and has been a surrogate before and knows what to expect! All of that together- she is just a perfect match for us.

So I spoke to her about these unforeseen financial pulls on us (the air conditioner at the house, my husband's car breaking down etc.) which has depleted the surrogacy fund dramatically. She was so kind and we came to a new more workable agreement that I feel like we can really do, and she still get everything that is due her. I wish I could pay her twice what we are. I truly feel like she deserves it, I actually told her I so wish I had met her at the beginning of this hard journey and we would have so much more money to give to her- but alas we cannot turn back the hands of time.

I really believe the Lord has orchestrated our meeting and this time in our lives. She is so happy to be able to give/ or try to give another family the gift of life and how can you ever repay that???

So then Saturday, I invited her and her girls out to lunch and then we went and got a pedicure together. Everyone kept asking us if we were sisters. It was funny because we both dressed in a black shirt and white Capri's!!! Totally not planned but fun nevertheless. It was nice to spend time with her outside of the clinic, and I hope to maintain our friendship even after the birth of our children.

So all of that to say, thank you for the faithful friends who prayed for us, and for continuing to stand in the gap for us as we still have so far to go. The Lord really did work it all out, and my stress level is much more manageable now.

Tonight is my monthly infertility group meeting. I really miss these ladies when we are not together, and I love getting together and sharing our stories.

Also Sweetness' birthday is Thursday!!! I cant wait to celebrate the most wonderful man I know, who is truly the biggest blessing I have ever received. I will post some pictures of his little party soon.....

And one last note about the cycle. I finished the pack of BCPs and of course never had a cycle. So tonight I start the next pack, and hopefully my surrogate will have her cycle next week and then I begin stimming. It is actually going to happen, slowly but surely. Love you guys...... Until next time.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

A summer evening at Virginia Beach

Tonight we went to the beach and rode our beach cruisers on the boardwalk. With it being tourist season I was very reluctant to go down there and fight all the people, but it is something Sweetness has been wanting to do for a looking time- so we went.

When we got there we discovered there was a sidewalk chalk drawing contest. I took a few shots of some cute ones that you can see above.

Overall it was a very nice evening and a beautiful day out with Sweetness. Earlier today I went to lunch with my surrogate and I will be doing a completely separate post about that later tonight. I have lots to say bout that and our situation, so I will give it its own post :)

Enjoy this beautiful summer evening...... we did.
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Thursday, June 2, 2011

Getting closer.....


So yesterday after yet another phone call with the clinic, we have a more definitive timeline as we approach the actual stimulation to get my eggs. I just finished my pack of BCPs, and will start another pack next Tuesday. Meanwhile, my surrogate is 1 and 1/2 weeks into her pack of pills, so in another week and half she will have her cycle, and then start another pack as well. When that happens I will begin stimming. So we are looking at starting stimulation in me about mid-June or so. That puts the egg retrieval about the beginning of July or so. So we are moving closer and closer, I feel like I have been treading water for so long now, its ridiculous.

So I was reading in the news today, that "Octomom" Nadia Sule.man's doctor will be stripped of his license. Not only for gross negligence in her case but also in 2 other cases of his patients that contracted ovarian cancer from fertility treatments. This got me thinking about something I have already thought about, but now rankly am worried about.

I have known these injections can not be good for you ovaries, and especially since I have done it now 3 times and am fixing to begin it for the fourth time!!! I remember asking my doctor about the risk and he said that doing fertility treatments may increase your risk from 1% to 2 or 3% chance of getting it with NO family history, which I do not have.

So this really will be the last time I ever do this- no matter the outcome- I can not put my body through this anymore.

This has been a great week actually at work. The students are still the same- but my boss has actually paid me a few compliments which I NEVER hear and it has made me at least feel acknowledged.

And today we are having our new King mattresses delivered!!!! I am so excited to sleep on them tonight! We even got a killer Memorial Day deal on new sheets at Macy's this weekend! Yoooo hooooo!!!!!

Thanks for the prayers and for hanging in with us in this long journey!