Tuesday, August 31, 2010

BFN

Yep, just as I said, the blood test today was a B F N

There just really are no more words right now.....

Monday, August 30, 2010

A very hard weekend....

I'm not gonna lie- this weekend was so tough. After the realization on Thursday that we have lost yet another 3 babies, I have been just crushed. I mean Thursday evening, I literally had a breakdown. No one can grieve for my babies but me- but they were MY babies. We have now lost 8 perfect babies. I guess one of the hardest things to think about right now, is that there is a very good chance these babies or any baby that we lost, would have survived if put into a working uterus!
Yes we do still have 3 more attempts that we have paid for, however I don't want to get to end of it all- and have no embryos left and no live baby! So we have tentatively decided to begin looking at surrogacy and/or adoption.

My sister-in-law Laura has offered to be a surrogate for us, but she lives in Pennsylvania and she is older (47 I think). So we are exploring some other family that might do it for us as an incredible gift. In my heart I would have loved for my life-long best friend Kate to be a surrogate for me. However 2 months ago today, we parted ways. It really hurts some days when I want to talk to her, but then again she was never available when I needed someone to talk to, and very secretive about everything. It evolved into something that was no longer a BFF relationship. I know that this has been for the best- emotionally I am much more calm, but you still miss someone after you are so used to them being in your life.

So tomorrow is the official beta- but we already know the outcome. It was suppose to be today, but today was the first day of school and I could NOT be late. So I will mosey on in in the morning, and have blood drawn just to receive the dreaded call tomorrow afternoon.

My soul just aches to hold my baby. When will it be my turn Lord, when??????

Thursday, August 26, 2010

I would die for that

This video really says it all for me. Every word of this is true for me- we all know some who have chosen abortion, and we CAN NEVER understand why? We would give anything to have what they had. We have all known people who would make extremely great parents, and the Lord does not bless them with a child.... we just dont understand what God's plan is.

This video is my cry today. Lord please hear me! This ache is so great, I feel like I am being crushed underneath the weight.




No second line....

So.... there was no second line on the strip this morning. Yeah I feel depressed, angry, hopeless, confused and just plain tired of all of this. I know a baby would be so worth it in the end, but this is so hard on my body.

I am sure by Monday I will have totally accepted my fate, before the beta test. Thank you for the prayers and well wishes, it helps to know someone else is on this terrible road of infertility too.

I am trying not to loose my faith, but man this is THE hardest thing I have ever gone through. I DO believe He has a reason, and a purpose, but when your heart aches so badly you could just cry at any moment, you wonder what is so good about this purpose??? One day I hope to find out....

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

8dp3dt

Well still no second line- but some other blogs I follow that used these same test strips I am using, started to see her second line at 9 days past transfer. I am 8days today. I am trying so hard to be patient, so hard to trust. I have always found it hard to be still; so one of the verses I have recited most of my adult life is to "Be still and know that I am God."

I know He sees me, I know He wants the best for me, even though some days I just don't understand! I scheduled my beta test for Monday morning at 7:30 am. Hopefully I can get back to school by 8 am- it is the first day of a new term so I can't be late!! Then I should know the results Monday afternoon.

Thank you all for the wonderful support. It means the world to us! Hoping for a faint second line in the morning.....

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

It's raining inside.....

So it's 7am, and I am already sitting at my desk at work. It is pouring down rain outside..... but oddly I feel like it is raining in my heart. I am such a mixed bag of emotions right now. I know I must trust the Lord, but I feel so sad, like this didn't work, then I go back to "it's too early to tell yet." It daunting really how much my emotions can change.

I was driving to work this morning and just started tearing up, wondering if God really does see me? Out of all the billions of people in the world, does He see my broken heart? Does He really care about me having a baby? My head wants to cry NOOOO!!!! But my heart knows what I believe and I am forced back to it time and again.

I think my good friend having her baby the other night kind of reiterated it to me how sad I am waiting for MY turn. It seems no one in my family or that I know IRL can relate at all. They all have at least ONE child. We would take JUST ONE!!

So enough of my pity party, I have students to teach and they are expecting a happy, cheery Dr. M!!!

And just now, as I was typing this, Sweetness just sent me the following text message: "Babe, our time will come and God will reward you for your faithfulness. Just remember all the positive feelings that you've been experienceing that you havent felt before and focus on nothing else. I do love you more than anything else."

WOW!!! What an awesome reminder from the Lord of the bessings I DO have in my life. I still have freinds out there waiting to find Mr. Right, so I consider myself to be truly blessed indeed.....

Monday, August 23, 2010

A Blog lift

Just wanted to let ya know that I got myself a blog lift over the weekend. I loved my old header so much, but it needed a change and so did I!!! So voila!!! Hope you likey~ it really makes me happy!

Still no elusive second line ladies...... but I am only 6dp3dt, so I know it should start showing up around day 9. Believe me if anything changes I will let you know!!!

Thanks for the prayers.

Oh!! And congrats to my special friend Robin and her hubby Mark on Welcoming their precious daughter into the world last night!!! Brehana Marie Munley was 7lbs 7oz, and is perfection!!!!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Feeling blah.....

Well I knew this feeling would come, it always does. But I am feeling down and like I am not pregnant at all. I don't know why but I do know that I hate these 2 ww. They are too stressful and too demanding emotionally. So for now I am curled up with Sweetness and resting in the fact that I have an AMAZING husband. I am truly blessed....

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The 2ww begins........

Well the dreaded 2ww has begun...... I have laid around all day and literally bored out of my mind. It is weird because when you have to get up and go to work you are exhausted and would do anything to stay in bed and sleep!! But when I can this morning, I just lay there, thinking about my subs and will they teach the class the way I would, and will my students grasp the information etc.....

But amazingly we are one day down and 12 more to go!!! I must say I have a really good feeling about this cycle...... I cant explain it, but I feel my soul is at peace. I am actually feeling like this may really work this time, I mean it might really work!!!!

So I am off the rest of this week and plan on doing nothing, and tomorrow is suppose to rain all day again like today, and if I love anything it is sleeping in a thunderstorm!!!

Something weird this morning, when I awoke, my throat was killing me! It felt like razorblades to swallow. It felt as if the uvuela in the back was swollen or something. It has gotten better throughout the day but now it is back and it is awful! I really hope I did not contract a virus from the people at the hospital!! I will keep an eye on this for sure!

Well thanks again for following us on the journey, we are hoping these really are our miracle buns in the oven!!!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I am pregnant (until proven otherwise!)

So we get to the clinic at 7:30 am, and because I was so ill last night, they started an IV right away and gave me another dose of Zof.ran. It really helped with the nausea. Below is a picture of my favorite nurse Beth, and she was so wonderful getting the IV started. No one can ever get one in less than 4 sticks in the BEST of circumstances, but let alone when I am dehydrated! She was able to do it in three!! Yeah Beth!!! Just LOVE LOVE LOVE her!!!


The they did an US to see why I was in so much pain for the past two days. I had a large amount of fluid behind my uterus (which they said is very normal), and my ovaries are still HUGE, like 7cm each!!! So nothing really wrong just normal stuff, so we decided to proceed today with a 3 day transfer!

Finally at 11:15 am they took us upstairs to the OR suite to get ready. They delivered a "bunny suit" as they called it, for my Sweetness to put on. Here he is modeling it below......he is a bit too tall for that thing!!!
Then a picture of the two of us for posterity sake, just before we got our babies put in!!!

Then, always being the entertainer and comedian to distract me, Sweetness began to get antsy and was being silly!

And one of me in the lovely shower cap.......

And our comedian again....silly boy!!!

Then, we finally were wheeled into the OR. The embryos were already compacting, meaning they are moving on to the next stage of division. They were perfect!!! Grade 2 embies!!! They looked so great that the embryologist recommended only putting back 2, but we went ahead with 3. If we get triplets then c'est la vie!!! We will make it!!! So without further ado, here are my precious little ones.....
The transfer went SUPER SMOOTH!!! Nothing like our last fresh cycle transfer, which was awful. If you want to go back and re-read how bad that one was, it was blogged about here. This one lasted maybe 10 mins and was so special, I began to tear up!!!! The Lord was with us all the way!!!
I am in awe once again of the miracle of life! As I lay here, Sweetness is looking at me adoringly, "loving his pregnant wife". I mean there just ain't nothing better folks!
Thank you Lord Jesus for this incredible blessing! We beg and plead with you to allow us to be the the earthly parents of these miracles in my tummy! We are in awe of your creation! We will give you ALL the praise and honor no matter the outcome!!!
Will update in a few days. Until then I will lay here, and let them percolate!!! I am in fact PUPO (Pregnant until proven otherwise!!!!:))))



Monday, August 16, 2010

Wow have I been sick

Well just a quick update before the big day tomorrow! I have been so sick today, vomiting non-stop, and having some serious pain in my abdomen. I was trying not to complain and just knew it would get better, but oddly it was getting worse. So I finally called the doc on call tonight, and she actually did my retrieval......She tells me that my retrieval was not easy and she is not at all surprised that I am hurting as much as I am. Well nice of some one to tell me this. No one ever said ANYTHING to us. She said my ovaries were kind of hidden behind scar tissue and that they had to push really hard on my tummy to get to them, so no wonder I am dying here!

So she called in some Zof.ran for me to the pharmacy to stop the vomiting. Sweetness just picked it up and boy am I feeling much better now. We avoided a trip to the ER, so I am very happy!

We have to be at the clinic at 730am tomorrow, and they will check me out, and give me some IV fluids if needed, and get me already to get my babies put where they belong.....in me!!!

Thank you again for all the prayers, emails and messages. We feel really good about this cycle- even through all the ups and downs- we feel the peace of God radiating around us, and are so hopeful this is our time!!!!

I will update tomorrow evening if I can and let you know how everything went, and we will for sure take pictures of our sweet littles and show you on here!! Until next time, I will be PUPO!!!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

6 precious angels.....

Well I wanted to stop in before I hit the bed to tell you the fertilization report. Dr. S called this morning and told me out of the 8 eggs, only 7 were mature. They ICSI'd all 7. And of then 7, 6 have taken off and actually fertilized! We are so blessed. I mean we have 6 precious soles growing the the lab waiting for their momma to go get them!

So the plan is to put in three on Tuesday and then freeze the rest. I am so humbled, because I have so many blogger friends that I have followed in which they get to egg retrieval and none fertilize or grow and this is always a real possibility. Thank Jesus for the gift of life!!!

I am having some really bad pain from the harvesting surgery. Hopefully this will dissipate soon, because it is quite painful! I am sure they will check to be sure my ovaries are not hyper stimulating before transferring the babies.....

So we are asking all our friends to pray specifically for the Lord to breath LIFE into our babies. That they would ALL grow healthy inside me and have a wonderful life. Our desire is to not loose ANY. I know that may sound crazy to some, but how could I possible wish that one of my littles not make it? Lord please protect them......

Ending tonight with a verse I love.....
"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in
my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and
wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very
well. "
-Psalm 139:13-14

Saturday, August 14, 2010

The harvest is complete

Hey gals! Well I am home now and think I have slept off most of the anesthesia. The egg retrieval went very well. Everyone was so nice and kind, really took excellent care of me!

So the result is a bit different than what I expected. They were able to get 8 eggs. I am really looking at this as a blessing, because we were so torn as to how many to have them fertilize if we got tons of eggs like we thought we were going to, based on the follicle scans. But the doctor said that not all the follicles had an egg in it, and this is normal!

So we are very thankful that the Lord really took care of this for us, and that hopefully all 8 will make it to fertilization and become embryos. Tomorrow morning between 8-10 am, they will call with the exciting "fertilization report." We are just trusting the Lord and hoping everything goes according to HIS plan.

It looks as if right now the transfer will be Tuesday afternoon at 1:30pm, and thankfully I am off the rest of the week to lay down and snuggle in with my babies! And I am so thankful to be here at this point. And of course I am cautious, because we all know the pain too well of a BFN, I am trying to be hopeful and send HAPPY VIBES to my uterus :)

I will post tomorrow what we find out about our precious babies that were conceived today!!! That just gives me the chills!

Friday, August 13, 2010

My timer is going off!!!!

Ok, these eggs have got to come out!! I feel so bloated I literally feel like I am going to ovulate all of them any minute!!!

I had my last follicle scan this morning, and the intern doing the US said she has never seen such beautifully stimulated ovaries!! I must have at least 15 follicles on each ovary, that measure 16mm or more!! That is so unbelievable!!!

So I have to be there in the morning at 6:30 am, only a short 8 hours from now!!! We are so excited to think our babies will be conceived tomorrow! My mom is spending the night tonight with us, to be able to go with us tomorrow and be a part of our excitement!!

Thank you again for all the prayers and encouraging comments, especially on facebook! You guys are so wonderful!!! I will try to update tomorrow afternoon after I awaken from my anesthesia induced slumber!

Praying and BELIEVING our miracle begins tomorrow!!!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

We have triggered!

Hey! Just a quick update!

The scan went great today! We have at least 7 follicles measuring at 18mm on each ovary. We are very excited about that. Also, my estrogen went from 2007 yesterday to 2469 today, which is perfect. I mean my boobies hurt so bad from my estrogen levels....ugh, so ready to get these eggies out of me!

So Sweetness gave me the "trigger" shot tonight at 9pm of hCG. And we are scheduled for egg harvesting at 630am on Saturday. The babies will be conceived on Saturday, then they will transfer three into me on Tuesday morning.

My boss has surprisingly been really accommodating about all of this! I will only work on Monday next week, then I will be off for an entire week, during which I will be resting in our new bed. I am so looking forward to snuggling with my babies and vegging all week. I plan on spending a great deal of time in prayer and meditation, just asking the Lord to let us have these children to love and raise.

We would so appreciate your prayers as we embark on this next step in our journey! We are so excited! Thank you all again for interceding on our behalf...... to God be the Glory! Great things He has done!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

SO EXCITED!!!!

Hey girls!!! Well I got the official word today that we will most likely trigger tomorrow evening and harvest the eggs on Saturday morning!!! That mean by Tuesday morning I will be PUPO!! (pregnant until proven otherwise!) I am so ecstatic that we have even made it this far in this IVF cycle. It has been harrowing to say the least! But we are almost there! I have what look like 7 really nice eggs on each ovary!!! My lining is still 7mm, even after all this bleeding. But as of this morning, it has finally stopped. Just a slight brown tinge on the TP. Thank you Jesus!

I will update more later! But just wanted to let you know where we are. My estrogen is through the roof in the 2000 range, and believe me I can feel it. My boobies are so sore, I literally can not take my bra off it is soooo painful!

Thanks again for the prayers, and I will let you know how we progress!!

Monday, August 9, 2010

More miracles....

Well I should know by now that my GOD is in the miracle working business right? But I continue to fret and worry, but I am getting better. I mean this IVF cycle has been so full of uncertainty and craziness, this was the 3rd time going to the clinic that I was sure they were cancelling my cycle.

I mean I have bled all weekend, how could they not, right?? But alas, we did not. So here is the down low. My lining has gone from 8mm to 7mm, which is not bad considering how much I have bled. I have LOTS of follies on each ovary that are about 13mm (they need to be 16-18mm to harvest), and my estrogen rose nicely to 954. So all of those things are exactly what they want to see!!!! So why the heck am I bleeding? Who knows, but for now, they are just hoping it will stop by tomorrow.

So we are to continue stimming, and see me back on Wednesday. On Wednesday hopefully they will set the date for egg retrieval on Friday (I hope).

One other nice thing is that IF my lining does not cooperate, we will still harvest the eggs and create the embryos, and then freeze them all until my lining is just right and so a FET. This is not ideal, and certainly not what I want but it is an option as to not loose all my eggies!!

OHHHHH, and another awesome piece of information!!! I just called the specialty pharmacy to refill my stimulation meds, because I am needing another couple days worth; and lo and behold, I HAVE RX COVERAGE FOR THIS LIQUID GOLD!!!!! Amazing! Simply Amazing!! So IF we have to repeat the stimulation, I have insurance coverage, so it will literally save like $2000!!! God is so good, even when we don't understand.

Lord, please help my unbelief, help my worry, and turn it all into a reason to praise you more!

Thank you for all the face.book comments and sweet notes. They all mean so much to us and we conquer yet another hill!!!!

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Bleeding......

I am amazed once again. So we get to the clinic this morning fully expecting to have the whole thing canceled. I had blood taken, then the ultrasound. My head RE was there. And when he did the US, my follicles were huge!!! I mean they went from 3 mm yesterday to like 11 and 13mm today!!! ( I have a theory on this that I will elaborate on in a second). And my lining looked really good at 8 mm. So he said that if my blood work comes back today and my estrogen has risen like it should, we will continue forward and just chok the bleeding episode up to something strange.

So the RE just called me and said my estrog.en went from 169 yesterday to 359 today. Very nice increase. He is so confused as to how I can be bleeding when my estr.ogen is rising and follicles growing???? But the bleeding has now gotten worse, like a full-fledged period now, with bright red bleeding. So he said for me to continue on the medicine and we would reasses on Monday afternoon. I am asking you guys to please pray this bleeding stops SOON.


Oh I forgot to tell you that I did talk to me RE about the lackadaisical way they are handling my IVF care. I emphasized to him that when I pay all this money, I EXPECT someone to act as though they care what I am going through. I am obviously not a run-of-the-mill IVF patient. Nothing is going smoothly, and no one is talking to me! He seemed very concerned that I was so frustrated. He also told me to call him anytime I wanted and he would always answer my questions if he had an answer. My mom came with Sweetness and I, and she said she felt very certain that he "got it" and understands now that I need some special care as we struggle through this. I do feel much better now!

So my thoughts as I continue to bleed, is that I am hoping we can at least get to the harvesting of my eggs, and then if my lining is not right, since I am bleeding, then we could freeze the embryos, and do a FET next month. I just don't want to waste all this expensive medication. It's over $2000 each fresh IVF stimulation cycle. So that is my prayer right now.

I am on bed rest and just trying to trust the Lord that He knows what is happening and He is still in control! Thanks everyone for interceding on our behalf!!!

Friday, August 6, 2010

Heartbreak

Well as I sit here with my heart breaking, I am wondering why this is not going smoothly???

I started bleeding about an hour ago. Yep, that elusive period that I have not had, has decided to show up after 5 days of stimming meds. This is like unheard of!!!! So I called the clinic and had the doc on call paged, she calls me back and I basically told her I want to be seen at the office tomorrow. She has me coming in at 10:30am, so we will see. But obviously my body is so messed up that it is having a cycle in the middle of stimming.

We will probably regroup and start all over. But seriously, I am not happy with my care at this clinic. I LOOOOVE my old RE, but she is 3x as expensive as this clinic. I am so torn, but I will be having a conversation with my RE tomorrow. I just paid you $20 000, I want to be treated like I AM somebody. Stop brushing off my concerns as just chatter messing up your plan. I know my body, I also have a doctorate in medicine, so I know what I am talking about.

The weird thing is that at dinner tonight I said to Sweetness you watch I feel like I am going to start bleeding. And sure enough, my body goes awry!!! The doc on call said "well you are just throwing us all for a loop" and I responded, "That's why I am there, my body is abnormal in cycling, you guys should have never let this happen."

So tomorrow we will see what they say, I am sure we will regroup and begin anew next month or so, but gosh this is so frustrating. I posted on my face.book status "Sometimes when God presses you into the depths of grief, He wants you to worship Him there. Lord Jesus, please heal this aching in our hearts!"

I will update more when I know something! I covet your prayers......

Barely any follicles!!

So I went in for my first follicle scan, and I am getting worried. There were maybe 3 SMALL follies on each ovary! Last time we did this, we had like 13 on each side! WTH????

I asked the doc if I should be worried and she said it has only been 4 days of stimming, so not to worry. But seriously this is why I am worried..... I can not be sure where the medicines were, or how they were stored before they were donated to me, and then Sweetness accidentally left a couple of the boxes of Repro.nex in the car in the heat the day we got them. I asked about this when it happened but they of course had no way of telling us if the meds were still okay or not. So I am scared that the meds have not been stored correctly, and may have lost their potency??!!! And I am so thankkful for the medications being donated to me, but the truth is they expire this month and I have no idea what temps they were exposed to before I received them, and I am just worried they are not working as well as they should.

UGHHH I am not sure what to do at this point. I thought about secretly taking more than they prescribed for tonight, but then I would be more worried I guess. Why cant this just go easy???

So I have to call the phone tree tonight to see what my instructions are, but she said they will probably have me come back tomorrow for a scan, that alone makes me nervous also.

Hi I'm Heather, and I am a nervous nelly about everything today! lol

Well I will update when I know more. Thank you for all the sweet text messages letting me know you are reading this blog. Other than that, everything is going splendid. Sweetness and I could not be any happier, I am truly so blessed with the most amazing husband ever!!! I just adore him!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Day 4

Well there is really nothing to report. But I wanted to check in and let you all know we are still stimming every night and doing Lu.pron and Lo.venox every morning! My poor stomach is so sore and bruised, but it's all gonna be worth it!!! We feel so happy and have so much hope!!!

Thanks again for the prayers and I will update tomorrow after I go back for my first follicle scan!! Toodles!!!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Day 1

Well I know yesterday I said I was going to start the 30 in 30 days postings that my blogger friends are doing, however, now that we are actually stimming and going through an active IVF cycle, I figured I would just focus on that for now.

Boy these injections are not fun!!! So we are injecting 300units of Gon.al-F and 75units of Repro.nex each evening, then 5 units of Lu.pron and 40mg of Lov.enox each morning! This morning was the first day I have ever injected Lov.enox- OUCH!!!! It burnt the mess out of me!

But alas, this is what I wanted so I shall not complain! Things are going very well. I will update more when I know. I go back to the clinic Friday morning for my first follicle scan!

One thing Sweetness and I noticed last night after reading over our blog, is that almost one year to the day last year we started our first IVF #1 stimming. I really cant believe it has been an entire year building to this point, yet I can. Somedays I feel like I have been infertile for 5 years and other days like only a month or so. I pray wholeheartedly that this is it, and I will be able to celebrate and turn this blog into a pregnancy blog!

I will let you guys know when we get closer!!! Thanks again for the prayers!

Grow follies grow!!!

Monday, August 2, 2010

We are ALL systems GO!!!!!

Well ladies, the Lord has answered our prayers today with a go ahead!!!! I was so surprised! Literally I had totally prepared myself for a cancel of this cycle, I did not see much choice with this thick lining.....but I believe HE performed a very real miracle in my uterine lining, and it shrunk by almost half!!! That is incredible! So tonight, I will be doing the picture above...ha!

We are starting with 300u of Go.nal-F and 1 vial of Repro.nex beginning tonight. And tomorrow I lower my Lup.ron dose to 5units and begin daily 40mg Loven.ox injections. Let the pin-cushion begin!!!

I will gladly take it!!! Now I am going to snuggle up with Sweetness in our awesome new bed, and watch the finale of the Bachelorette! I know she walks away single.....you watch! (I know, I know it is a stupid show, but it is my one guilty pleasure. At least I don't watch Jersey Shore or something like that!!)

Updates to come. I don't go back until Friday morning for another scan and blood work!

30 days of things about ME!!!!

Since I have already done 2 blog posts today...... I will start this tomorrow! Almost all of my blogger community friends are doing this, so we can learn more about one another, so I will do my best to get this done everyday, especially if this cycle gets cancelled, I need a distraction on my blog while we wait....... So tomorrow we will begin my 30 days with my favorite song!



Day 1 - your favorite song

Day 2 - your favorite movie

Day 3 - your favorite television program

Day 4 - your favorite book

Day 5 - your favorite quote

Day 6 - 20 of your favorite things

Day 7 - a photo that makes you happy

Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad

Day 9 - a photo you took

Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you

Day 11 - a photo of you recently

Day 12 - something you are OCD about

Day 13 - a fictional book

Day 14 - a non-fictional book

Day 15 - your dream house

Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly)

Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)

Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding

Day 19 - a talent of yours

Day 20 - a hobby of yours

Day 21 - a recipe

Day 22 - a website

Day 23 - a youtube video

Day 24 - where you live

Day 25 - your day, in great detail

Day 26 - your week, in great detail

Day 27 - your worst habit

Day 28 - what's in your handbag/purse

Day 29 - hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days

Day 30 - a dream for the future

Our New Bedroom!!!

Sooooo as you know Friday night was not good for me. The news of maybe canceling this cycle hit me pretty hard, so in true fashion, Sweetness decided to try to cheer me up. We decided to make a road trip on Saturday and head to the outlet malls in Williamsburg! I was so excited!

So we got up and at 'em early, and headed on to the interstate, when we both had the idea to get off at the exit 2 up from our house, and go check in that furniture store that we visited last weekend where they are getting rid of everything. We wanted to see if this bedroom suit we loved had been marked down anymore?

Well guess what??? It was!!!! And they were wheeling and dealing and we got an amazing deal on a brand new king mattress set also, since we upgraded from a queen to a king! We were thrilled!!! And to top it off, they delivered it for free on Saturday evening, they needed to get it out of their store! So we hurried to Macy's and bought a beautiful comforter set, and some king sheets and king pillows....... then ran home to disassemble our current bedroom! Weeeewwwww, we were exhausted!

Then they finally arrived and set it all up!!! That king bed is HUGE!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!

So here are some pictures......

This is the new bed, and new mattresses. We just love the comforter set. At Macy's we got the 24-piece set (with curtains and all) at 50% off!!! We were hittin' some deals this weekend!!! We also got this nightstand at Target on Saturday and it looks great with the set!
And this is the dresser and mirror. Do you see the wood designs on the front? It is on the top of the dresser also! We chose to have "crosses" as our theme. The cross to the right of the mirror I gave to Sweetness when he became a Christan in December of 2007. We were just friends then, and I wrote something beautiful on the back to him. It was nice to pull it out of the closet and re-read it again after some time, and what's more, to now have it hanging in our home and being able to see what it represents- How faithful our LORD is!

Then, we took down all the decorations I had on the walls, there were frames with pictures in it etc. Just definitely time for a change! So after church yesterday, we headed to Gard.en Ri.dge, a store here that really carries everything you could want to decorate your home! I selected these to put over the bed, and I think it turned out really nice!
Then, for the one BIG wall in the bedroom, we found this awesome picture that matches the comforter pretty well!!! And I added these candle sconces on either side! I thought it turned out really classy and elegant, just like I envisioned!
Well that is all for the bedroom tour! We have slept in it for 2 nights now, and I am very pleased with the mattresses. I have a terrible neck and back and I have not ached at all when I woke up each morning!!
I will update as soon as I know about whether we move on this cycle or stop and start over! Thanks again for the prayers and comments on my last post from Friday night! It means a lot to know so many are praying and interceding on our behalf!

Quick Update

Well I went to the clinic this morning as instructed. As I was driving there, I prayed out loud and asked the Lord to do a miracle in my uterus, that cant really be explained, and if He wanted this cycle to move forward or to stop to please give me the grace to handle it and to just TRUST HIM!!!!

Well, surprisingly we are not cancelling as of this hour! My lining "miraculously" went DOWN from 9mm on Friday to 6mm today!!!! WHAT???!!! That's right, my lining went down in size WITHOUT having a period this weekend. I really am shocked. So the doctor (yet another one I had never seen before) said all 3 docs would meet at 1pm today and decide based on my lab work from this morning. But basically she indicated that if my estrog.en and pro.gesterone levels were still low where they should be, we COULD start stimming tonight.

I am trying not to get overly excited, because I know that devastation on Friday night was not somewhere I want to go again! I am embarrassed by how I acted, really. No one saw but me and the Lord, but this whole thing tries your faith so much, and I wonder what my faith is really made of? I guess I am really finding out right?!

Well I will update tonight with the final decision, and we will take it from there! Thanks for all the prayers.