Friday, March 11, 2011

The Darkest Night----just before the dawn

So here I am a day later and feeling so much better. I am somewhat sorry I wrote all I wrote yesterday, but this is my place to vent and journal and it was really where I was and how I was feeling. I thank all of you who have commented and understood where I was- and told me it was okay to grieve. It meant a lot. For the one person that commented and started judging- I deleted your comment- and if you don't have something nice to say or don't like what I have to say- then don't click or come to this site. Good? Great!

Now onto some hope-filled news. I am a member of a fertility board and through a series of a couple of friends, I was put in contact with a young woman who was looking to donate her 4 remaining embryos to a couple in need. She and I have been conversing and praying about it- and she is still as yet undecided- but she is leaning towards donating them to us. She is done having children and certainly does not want them destroyed.

Also I spoke to my clinic director this morning and presented her with a scenario and asked if they would be open to it. She just called back and said yes!!! So what is the plan you ask?

I proposed that we be given our full refund of 1/2 the shared-risk plan fee (which is what was agreed upon in the contract) and in addition so I use a surrogate and give these precious ones the best shot at life- if they would give us a free cryo cycle for our surrogate to implant the embies into her uterus. And they AGREED!!! What a blessing!! That is a savings of about $4200!!!!!

So we are still going to be about $5-10,000 short so I am going to look into taking a part-time job doing whatever I have to do to try to raise this money during the time she is pregnant. I hope with the Lord on our side- He will line it all up. I am going to have to trust Him that He is bringing all this together- and do the best I possible can.

It is all still in very preliminary stages- and the donated embryos are not certain yet- but I just wanted to let my special friends (on here and in real life) that truly care about me and have cried and prayed with/for me during the past 48 hours. Your prayers for peace and hope are being heard and fulfilled!!! Thank you for standing in the gap!