Thursday, December 16, 2010

A Snow Day

Hey ladies! I am still here. We have/are getting right now about 4-5" of snow. This is a big deal for us here at teh beach. this never happens. So since I did not have any classes to teach today- I decided to stay home and have myself a snow day.

I have been catching up on everyone's blogs today and there just seems to be so many BFNs lately. It helps me not feel so alone- but I hate that so many of my friends hearts are hurting this way.

Sweetness and I have moments where we still sit and cry together at the unfairness of it all, yet we still manage to keep pressing on and go to work everyday etc. I am just over it all- I don't want to put my body or my husband through another round of IVF but as I have already stated we have to do it to get 1/2 the money back if we don't succeed. So it looks like I will begin cycling in late Jan 2011. Maybe later because I know after the D and C I had last Friday- it will take my body a full 2 months to have a period. I just know how it works around these parts!

I just don't know how we will make it through another Christmas with no baby- and no hope of every having one. I was telling my Mom the other night as I was crying on the phone- that infertility is so ISOLATING!!! I mean we have pulled back form all our friends because we just cant take the baby talk or the kids running everywhere- just such a painful reminder of what you DON'T have and maybe never will. Some of our friends have been understanding and they ache with us- yet some don't understand and to them I say- I didn't need you as a friend anyway.

I pray for all my friends as we are still going though this struggle- esp the ones who follow this blog who have had BFNs in Dec- so close to Christmas. I pray for us all everyday- and I only have a small thread of hope and faith left but I am clinging to it for all of us- that the Lord who blesses people with children will see fit to look upon our tired weary bodies and bless us too.

Love you girls and have a blessed holiday season ! i will be back soon!