Thursday, December 16, 2010

A Snow Day

Hey ladies! I am still here. We have/are getting right now about 4-5" of snow. This is a big deal for us here at teh beach. this never happens. So since I did not have any classes to teach today- I decided to stay home and have myself a snow day.

I have been catching up on everyone's blogs today and there just seems to be so many BFNs lately. It helps me not feel so alone- but I hate that so many of my friends hearts are hurting this way.

Sweetness and I have moments where we still sit and cry together at the unfairness of it all, yet we still manage to keep pressing on and go to work everyday etc. I am just over it all- I don't want to put my body or my husband through another round of IVF but as I have already stated we have to do it to get 1/2 the money back if we don't succeed. So it looks like I will begin cycling in late Jan 2011. Maybe later because I know after the D and C I had last Friday- it will take my body a full 2 months to have a period. I just know how it works around these parts!

I just don't know how we will make it through another Christmas with no baby- and no hope of every having one. I was telling my Mom the other night as I was crying on the phone- that infertility is so ISOLATING!!! I mean we have pulled back form all our friends because we just cant take the baby talk or the kids running everywhere- just such a painful reminder of what you DON'T have and maybe never will. Some of our friends have been understanding and they ache with us- yet some don't understand and to them I say- I didn't need you as a friend anyway.

I pray for all my friends as we are still going though this struggle- esp the ones who follow this blog who have had BFNs in Dec- so close to Christmas. I pray for us all everyday- and I only have a small thread of hope and faith left but I am clinging to it for all of us- that the Lord who blesses people with children will see fit to look upon our tired weary bodies and bless us too.

Love you girls and have a blessed holiday season ! i will be back soon!

3 comments:

  1. I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish I could make the pain go away. I will continue to pray for you two. God does amazing things! Keep the faith!

    Kami

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  2. Thanks for being so honest. I love reading your blog! It's a big sigh of relief for me knowing someone out there gets it. Infertility is very isolating! I'm so sick of feeling like the odd one out with friends who have been blessed with children. Wish it could be my turn! Praying for you too.

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  3. I too wish I could make it go away, make the dreams of your heart into reality. My heart aches at how hard all of this has been and continues to be.

    I can say, though, that my heart lights up at the fact that God gave you Sweetness. When I hear about you guys holding tightly to one another, I am reminded of how He does answer prayers!

    Hoping that these prayers will be answered too... and, somehow, in the perfect timing that we just can't understand quite yet.

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