Money and Hope

Well today I am feeling kind of blah. I mean this infertility thing comes and goes, and I really do have faith that we will be parents, but the when??? The why???

I guess I should feel some hope somewhere. We did our taxes, and our refund will enable us to completely pay off our loan we did for our 2 failed IVFs. So that gives us hope to look toward doing it again. We said we had to pay this loan off first in order to do it again, and the Lord has made a way.

With all of my friends pregnant, posting beautiful ultrasound pictures, my heart just cries, it aches, really wondering when that will ever be us. Sweetness is beginning to loose his very hopeful, always positive attitude. That makes me nervous sometimes. He is sad too and that makes me ache also.

I don't want to be a complainer, I just want us to have a family. Jesus, can you please take this pain away??? Would you give us our miracle? Soon???