Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Money and Hope

Well today I am feeling kind of blah. I mean this infertility thing comes and goes, and I really do have faith that we will be parents, but the when??? The why???

I guess I should feel some hope somewhere. We did our taxes, and our refund will enable us to completely pay off our loan we did for our 2 failed IVFs. So that gives us hope to look toward doing it again. We said we had to pay this loan off first in order to do it again, and the Lord has made a way.

With all of my friends pregnant, posting beautiful ultrasound pictures, my heart just cries, it aches, really wondering when that will ever be us. Sweetness is beginning to loose his very hopeful, always positive attitude. That makes me nervous sometimes. He is sad too and that makes me ache also.

I don't want to be a complainer, I just want us to have a family. Jesus, can you please take this pain away??? Would you give us our miracle? Soon???

1 comment:

  1. Have you ever heard of the Pope Paul VI Institue in Omaha, Nebraska? Maybe they can help...

    My husband and I were married in '04. What would otherwise have been undetectable symptoms were detected when we began charting my cycles, using natural family planning (NFP). I knew that something wasn't right. My doctor told me that he didn't understand my chart(nor my real concern), but considering my medical history, he referred me over to an OB/Gyn who (much to his surprise, I'm sure) diagnosed PCOS! While her intentions might have been good (and she seemed to have a good heart), the OB/Gyn did little to help us understand this diagnosis or what caused this condition, even as I was "not typical" for PCOS. She gave us 2 options: Metformin or birth control. Both, I'm afraid, were only band-aids to cover a much deeper wound. :(

    A friend encouraged us to get a 2nd opinion and, by the grace of God, we met my current (Naprotechnology) doctor. We've never looked back!

    These past 5 years have been an AMAZING journey, growing in faith and love as we've worked to be as healthy as we can and, as I always say, "give God every chance!" In November of '08, we decided to actively pursue pregnancy.

    I was blessed to become a patient of Dr. Thomas Hilgers late last year. He confirmed PCOS, hypothyroid, hormonal imbalances (including low progesterone - a VERY dangerous condition had we conceived!)... and diagnosed Endometriosis (a definite shock) and a possible bacterial infection... ALL of which are VERY TREATABLE! :) Praised be Jesus Christ for such gifts of Grace!!

    We know now that, whatever God wills, we will be healthier and our marriage stronger for having walked this road... carrying this cross of infertility that He has entrusted to us!

    I've been following your blog for a while now and my heart goes out to you... Big hugs and LOTS of prayers!!