Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Focusing on the surrogacy......

Hey ya'll!!! Sorry it has been so long since an update- as you can imagine we have been SUPER busy.

I will start with the surrogacy. Tomorrow is finally Baseline Day!! I thought the day would never come! I go got the clinic at 8:30 am and get my US and blood work and we begin the stimulation to get my eggies that hopefully will settle into my surrogate for 40 weeks!!! My surrogate called last night and she said the Lupron is making her crazy hormonal too. I am SOOO happy this morning was my last day on that evil stuff!!! So I will update as we continue to move forward with this process..... its finally here!!!

Now onto the Adoption. I don't even know where to begin.... L our birth mom is so young and sweet, she really is, but her immaturity level is shocking to me. She only wants to text, never talk on the phone like normal people. She wants to text for like 3+ hours a night and I just cant do it anymore. Well Saturday night, she had for the past 4 nights set a time to call me, and of course she didnt call with no reason why. So I texted her and told her that she needs to remember that I have feelings in all this too. She starts her drama with "I'm a horrible person" "I'm crying my eyes out" etc. So after all that settled down, I thought I had made it clear to her that I WANT to talk to her but I have a life too and I can not just sit on the phone all night texting!!!

So then the next 2 nights she does the same thing- no call when she says she was going to, and last night I had reached my limit- I actually called her- and of course she would not answer. I "TEXTED" and ask her what was wrong, why were we doing this? She never responds, then I start crying thinking its all happening all over again, she's changed her mind etc. I pretty much begged her to call me last night and let's settle this- I was an emotional wreck and needed to know what was going on. Well she never called. Thankfully last night was my monthly meeting with my infertility support group. these ladies are awesome and reminded me of what I was dealing with and that she can't possibly understand what I AM FEELING.

I felt much better when I left there- they encouraged me to just focus on the surrogacy and getting good eggs. So I came home and snuggled with Sweetness and prayed and cried as I finally fell asleep. Then this morning she texts me with "I almost died last night okay? I got hit." I frankly don't believe her because its always so much drama. So I texted her back and asked her point blank "Are we still doing this adoption? Has something changed for you? Just tell me now please." She wrote back that we are still doing the adoption and she doesn't know why I am thinking that....... So I finished by saying that I am done with the texting. If we are going to do this adoption- and it be an open adoption like she wants- then we need to stop the drama and act like adults. Comically she responded with "What drama?"

REALLY???? I have not responded to that text and I'm not. I am going to try to focus on the surrogacy and pray that the Lord's will be done in this adoptive situation. We have pretty much gotten the nursery all done. We are waiting for the crib we ordered to arrive this week and then put on all the pretty bedding we bought. Below is a picture of her bedding, it's called "Posy" by FAO Schwarz. You can see the newly painted walls behind it, the mobile still in the box and some wall art. her crib and new dresser are all white wood to match the frame and changing table. Its going to be super duper cute!!! Hope you guys like it!!

We also have done some shopping for the baby- we have really been so excited- I have heeded all my friend's advice and bought almost no newborn clothes, except this one- I could not help myself.... just had to have it!!! :)))))

I was given a HUGE lot of girl clothes from newborn to 12 months!!! Such a blessing. Also the bio mother of the 4 embryos we adopted- just mailed me a HUGE box of her baby girl's clothes that was just born last October- so the clothes will all be in season. What a blessing!!!!! AAAANNNNDDDDD my precious friend Robin has offered to throw me a baby shower in early October- birth mom L said she wants to come and I would be honored to honor her at the shower!! Stay tuned!

I will put up more pictures as we take them and get her room all finished.

We are still headed to meet L on July 16th- and due to some bad circumstances in which she finds herself, she MAY be coming back with us to live until the baby is born! I will DEFINITELY keep you updated on this.

Again please pray for guidance, for healthy eggs and for peace in our hearts as we wait!!!

Love to you all!!!