Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Sept. 1st it is


Well I can not thank you all enough. It is so humbling how many people are praying for us and have texted us to say they are doing so after my post yesterday, It was a truly hard day.
This banner at the top is truly how my life feels, this blog is the dealings of "The good, the bad and the infertile." lol

So I really had not talked to Birthmom L all day, I was still swirling from the weekend and having my heart ripped out of me. But she texted early evening and I really told her in a gentle way what she was doing to us. She said she was scared of having no friends and being lonely at our house and I told her she wont even give us a chance and she's always telling me she is lonely at home anyway.

She continues to promise that Chloe is ours and she is coming, and I told her she is going to mess around too long and end up giving birth up there, and it will not be possible for us anymore. I told her to make this decision for Chloe and she can go right back to her life after she is born and safely with us. So she said she was sorry and that she would change. Then she said she will be here on Sept.1, 2011, I told her that she must keep that promise or we are going to walk away to save our tormented and broken hearts.

So I guess September 1st it is. Two more weeks and hopefully she will keep her promise although she has never kept a one to me yet, she doesn't even call when we set a time to call. SO I am trying to give it to the Lord but I don't even know if I believe He exists anymore- I am a hot mess for sure.

And on a side note- a service guy came over last night and fixed our fridge. The control panel in the back had shorted out. Thank fully we have a home warranty and we only paid the $60 deductible. Now we just have to go and buy all these groceries again because we threw almost everything away. Ahhhhh nothing like a cold drink!!!