Friday, August 6, 2010

Heartbreak

Well as I sit here with my heart breaking, I am wondering why this is not going smoothly???

I started bleeding about an hour ago. Yep, that elusive period that I have not had, has decided to show up after 5 days of stimming meds. This is like unheard of!!!! So I called the clinic and had the doc on call paged, she calls me back and I basically told her I want to be seen at the office tomorrow. She has me coming in at 10:30am, so we will see. But obviously my body is so messed up that it is having a cycle in the middle of stimming.

We will probably regroup and start all over. But seriously, I am not happy with my care at this clinic. I LOOOOVE my old RE, but she is 3x as expensive as this clinic. I am so torn, but I will be having a conversation with my RE tomorrow. I just paid you $20 000, I want to be treated like I AM somebody. Stop brushing off my concerns as just chatter messing up your plan. I know my body, I also have a doctorate in medicine, so I know what I am talking about.

The weird thing is that at dinner tonight I said to Sweetness you watch I feel like I am going to start bleeding. And sure enough, my body goes awry!!! The doc on call said "well you are just throwing us all for a loop" and I responded, "That's why I am there, my body is abnormal in cycling, you guys should have never let this happen."

So tomorrow we will see what they say, I am sure we will regroup and begin anew next month or so, but gosh this is so frustrating. I posted on my face.book status "Sometimes when God presses you into the depths of grief, He wants you to worship Him there. Lord Jesus, please heal this aching in our hearts!"

I will update more when I know something! I covet your prayers......

Barely any follicles!!

So I went in for my first follicle scan, and I am getting worried. There were maybe 3 SMALL follies on each ovary! Last time we did this, we had like 13 on each side! WTH????

I asked the doc if I should be worried and she said it has only been 4 days of stimming, so not to worry. But seriously this is why I am worried..... I can not be sure where the medicines were, or how they were stored before they were donated to me, and then Sweetness accidentally left a couple of the boxes of Repro.nex in the car in the heat the day we got them. I asked about this when it happened but they of course had no way of telling us if the meds were still okay or not. So I am scared that the meds have not been stored correctly, and may have lost their potency??!!! And I am so thankkful for the medications being donated to me, but the truth is they expire this month and I have no idea what temps they were exposed to before I received them, and I am just worried they are not working as well as they should.

UGHHH I am not sure what to do at this point. I thought about secretly taking more than they prescribed for tonight, but then I would be more worried I guess. Why cant this just go easy???

So I have to call the phone tree tonight to see what my instructions are, but she said they will probably have me come back tomorrow for a scan, that alone makes me nervous also.

Hi I'm Heather, and I am a nervous nelly about everything today! lol

Well I will update when I know more. Thank you for all the sweet text messages letting me know you are reading this blog. Other than that, everything is going splendid. Sweetness and I could not be any happier, I am truly so blessed with the most amazing husband ever!!! I just adore him!