My first post as a real Mom to Chloe!!!

Hi my special friends!!! I first want to thank each and every one of you who have even offered one single prayer on our behalf over the last 3 1/2 years as we have cried out to the Lord to have mercy on us and give my barren womb a child or to bless us in some other way. And bless us in some other way HE DID!!! Chloe Faith arrived in our life on Sunday evening October 16, 2011 at 6:42pm, and her weight was actually 6lbs, 3.5 0zs, not 6 ozs as was previously reported.

I will do a long story about how it all went later, as you know, and I am quickly finding out, new mom's are exhausted, so I have a few seconds here while grandma is rocking Chloe, so that I can put up this blog post because so many of you deserve a look at the fruits of your faithful prayers.

So this first picture was the first time I ever laid my eyes on her, and held her, and I must say I was waterworks for quite sometime. When we arrived, the hospital staff gave Sweetness and I a room to care for her just as if I was a patient myself in the hospital and delivered. I could not believe it!! We never had to ask for anything. We showered in there, and had 2 beds for us to sleep in in there, it was truly a God thing let me say!

This next picture is my Sweetness with his girl, holding his girl for the first time, and he cried , oh the tears of joy to see my sweetness with his baby girl FINALLY!!!


Chloe LOVES to be very tightly wrapped up and swaddled at all times and she stays this way all the time. Well I wrapped her up and put on this hat after a bath in the hospital and sent this pic to my mom and she sent back a message saying she looked like an Indian papoose baby:) Maybe she does, but she snuggles really good like this!

So yesterday after the pediatrician and all adoption papers were signed (what an agonizing story- later I will write all about that one) we packed up to leave. My little 6lb bundle almost got swallowed up in her car seat!! But her she is cute as a button on the steps to the hospital. I just can not say enough wonderful things about the nurses and staff at Holy Spirit Hospital in Pennsylvania where she was born- they were wonderful!!!!

And then when we arrived home last night after an 7 hr. drive (me in the backseat diligently watching over my sweet girl, my mom had decorated the whole front yard and the garage and the inside of the house with balloons and banners. It was so nice to come home to all that love. We took pics of it on my big camera, these pics on this blog post are from my phone to make it easy right now. So I had my first night last night as a mommy with all the middle of the night feedings, and I am so tired. But I will cherish each one of these feedings because they grow so fast and it goes by so fast. So just so I could get a shower today I put here here in her boppy chair, and then she began to scream as I applied my shampoo, so I was stuck, but we made it through....welcome to parenthood right???



Again.... Glory to God, and all praise to Him who made this miracle possible!!! I know I doubted, but He did it in His timing not mine, and so I'm human. But I know so many of you were praying for us and really felt our pain, and you yourself maybe in the midst of the infertility pain. I understand and I so completely understand. Hang on your miracle is coming. There are so many things that happened with this delivery that I KNOW with out a doubt God's hand was all over this adoption , THIS MIRACLE, because Satan was trying his hardest to make it not happen.


Bless you all, and this silence on my blog, is just me loving every minute of my new peanut. I'll be back soon, with some more pics that you will love!!!! Blessings to all of you!!

CHLOE FAITH WAS BORN TODAY!!!!!

OUR MIRACLE CHLOE FAITH MARSDEN WAS BORN TODAY 10-16-11 BY EMERGENCY C- SECTION.  BUT SHE IS FINE AS WELL AS BIRTHMOM.  I WILL UPDATE WITH ALL THE FACTS REAL SOON, BUT SHE'S HERE!!!! SHE'S REALLY HERE!!!!

THANKS FOR ALL THE PRAYERS!!!!

Ok.....contractions have begin!!!!

Just a small update to tell you that L is in labor and we are on our way to Pennsylvania to see our beautiful Chloe born I hope.  We had just settled in for a nice.Friday evening and then she tells me I think its time..... So we took showers, called Mom to come pick up the dogs and then.packed the last few things and we are on the 6 hour drive now.  she is already having contractions 10 mins apart so I pray we don't miss it!!!

I'll update more when I know. Please keep praying for all involved.....

Thursday's Doctor's appointment

Okay so L went to her Doctor appt this afternoon, and I was so hoping this was going to be the one where he said let's do it!!! But it was meant not to be!

He said she is apparently not dilated at all. But Chloe is head down, and she is not effaced at all. L has continued to loose weight, and I did not get an update on the gall-bladder scan that was done on Monday. So she goes back on Tuesday, if she does not deliver between now and then, on Tuesday he will make the decision as to when he will induce her!!! FINALLY!!! Although I do not want her to have to go through an induction and the strenuousness of the pitocin contractions, I want Chloe to come out of there now!!!

That's all I have to report now, and I will report more when I know more, you know I will. I can feel all my prayer warriors praying for us from all around us all the time, and we so appreciate it!!!

Blessings to you all,

Still waiting...... on Chloe......

Well we are still waiting..... Me and L are still in CONSTANT all day contact everyday all day by texting. She says she is feeling fine but is ready to get her out. So she had an ultrasound of her gallbladder early Monday morning and they told her she would know the results at her weekly appointment on Thursday. So we are all hoping that the doctor is going to make a decision at the appointment on Thursday to induce or something. This waiting is becoming unbearable really.

Updating from my last post, my nephew has cut off all communication with L, so she is feeling very anxious, but I think it is best really for the whole situation. As I have said earlier they are not good for each other, they are like oil and water and very volatile but they both can not seem to break that "habit" and familiarity of one another. So hopefully after Chloe is born they will go their separate ways and the drama of all of this will die down and they can both move on.

As far as the paperwork goes, I overnighted my nephew's to him, and his dad has taken him to get his signed and notarized and done today, and hers can not be done until after the baby is born, so we will handle it when the baby is born. She is an adult, her dad can not force her to do anything really, and she has assured me that she is going to stand up to him if he tries to assert himself in any way she does not want. So please continue the prayers we need them desperately. This is where we need the Lord to fill her heart and especially her parents, and to let them stop making this so hard on her. They WANT her to give the child up anyway, I just will never understand why they continue to make it so difficult for her.

But I will continue to keep you updated. Thanks for all the love and prayers.

Im just so over the drama of it all

Well just when you think it is all going to happen and everything is all fine, something happens and it all comes crashing down.

Well my nephew and birth mom, had an altercation and something happened that I will not put in print here, but it was substantial enough that now they have cut off all communication and she will not allow him at the birth or to see the baby etc. So I had mailed L a copy of the adoption forms she has to sign for us to take the baby from the hospital so she could see what she was signing. Well they were address to HER. Her father confiscated them, she said and took them from her and would not even let her open them. Apparently her took them to a lawyer to have them reviewed which was fine except that it is a federal crime to open someone else's mail, he even had to go to the post office and sign for it- so not sure how that happened.

Anyway, she finally saw them, she even has mailed me an openess document of what she wants as far as how often she wishes to see Chloe, which is not often at all, and pictures report cards etc.

So now, that my nephew has done this thing, his father is kicking him out of his house, remember he only let him live there for me to be near L for the birth, and now I need him to sign the papers which now L's father has confiscated for a second time.

So I am overnighting a second copy of the papers to my nephews father who he is staying with, so he can sign his part, and then "supposedly", L is coming over on Thursday to sign her part. But here is the question, can the papers be signed before Chloe is even born??????? Please someone take me away from all this.....

If you can even keep up with all this petty drama you are lucky, but further more, L is all worried about how am I going to see her at the hospital. What??? Like knock on the door?? She is so petrified of her parents, I am just flabbergasted. Who treats their children this way? And besides she is 18, she can do what she wants. I just can not believe she is THIS afraid of her parents.

I am so stressed right now I cant stand it. I am trying to keep repeating to myself, let go and let God. Just let Him work it out. But my heart so desperately wants to love her, we are soooo close and now all this petty drama.

Her father wants her to place her for adoption, so why play these petty games?

I told Sweetness a bit ago I am this close from walking away from all of this. I cant take it anymore, I'm going to end up back in the hospital again, and of course look like a fool to everyone who I have told it looks like we are getting the baby....

Nothing is easy with this,, nothing ever is. My heart aches for Chloe, so who gets to love that poor child I don't know........

So I guess I may know something tomorrow when she has that gall-bladder test she is supposed to have in the morning, ill let y'all know...... and so the drama continues

Why are we a private blog???

Well just a quick reason as to why I had to take this blog private. A financial aid worker here at the university where I work told me through email that she was enjoying reading my blog. WAIT!!!! STOP....... WHAT????? Your reading what??? So after I picked my heart up off the floor, I asked her how she found my blog and she said a student came and was tell her how wonderful a teacher I was and how much she enjoyed having me as a professor, and she could not place the face with the name so she 'googled" me and found my blog. Well that's a lie, because I tried that and my blog did not come up.

Anyways, she exposed herself, and I shut the blog down immediately. Then I was flooded with emails from all of my friends why they could not see the blog. And I know this came at the MOST INOPPORTUNE time, right when Chloe was about to arrive. So I HAD to figure a way that every body could share in the joy of seeing my girl and follow the end of this very long journey to Chloe.

So if any of your friends who are still not authorized to view the blog and I KNOW who they are would like to read it, have them email me and send me their email address.. I will not be adding strangers. I'm sorry.

On the baby front, we are still waiting. She isn't due technically until Oct. 17th but she is about to pop and she is going back on Thursday to the doctor to see what they will, either induce or something. So I will be sure to let you all know.

Thanks for all the support and she has told me MANY times she will be signing the papers. so thankfully I think we are ready to get 'er done!!!

Love you all!!

Why are we a private blog???