Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Does it ever get better?

I know I am supposed to be posting my pics of our trip to Christmas Town and my new car. But tonight, I am trying to hold onto my faith. A family member called tonight to tell me she is pregnant. And bless her heart she has known for awhile- she's 3.5 months along- but she did not want to tell me until I got pregnant with this last IVF cycle. Well we all know how that turned out...... She was so kind to call me herself, and really tried to take my feelings into consideration, and if you are reading this, I really appreciate it. I really do.

But after I hung up the phone, Sweetness came over on the couch and sat down next to me and just held my hand, and well the tears started, and I just sobbed.

I am so happy for her, I am just so sad for me.

God never promised that life would be fair, but man I feel like I am the only one wanting a baby so badly. I really am enjoying my new job, they are keeping me so busy (hence I have not gotten around to posting promised pictures), and I really am trying not to focus on my infertility too much, but when these announcements come like all of you have experienced when you are still waiting, it hits the heart like a dagger.

Lord Jesus, help me tonight please. Have mercy on my heart. And my sweet husband is aching too, for a child. Would you please give us understanding, give us your heart, give us PEACE. I beg of you........

4 comments:

  1. Oh Heather, I know exactly how you feel. When my sister-in-law called to tell me she was...it was awful, terrible and I was soooo mad!!! I will continue to pray for that comfort that only He can give you!! Just keep trusting Him!!!

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  2. Thank you sweet Sarah! If anyone understands, I know you do. Give your little gummmy a hello from me :)

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  3. Keep trusting God!

    Merry Christmas!!!

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  4. What else can I say but...my babe. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love her and I'm looking forward to what God has in store for both of us.

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