Sunday, December 6, 2009

Emotions

Well sorry I have been quiet lately. I just do not have too much to write. Thursday was a good and bad day. I will get to the good part in a minute, but of course the bad was another BFN on our second IVF. I really thought it would work this time. I mean I really did. But it was not in the Lord's timing, and it is so hard for me to understand why. It seems everyone is pregnant or has their newborn. Thursday night, I was listening to praise and worship music and the tears began to fall. I think I sobbed for about 2 hours. But I did feel better afterwards, there was so much bottled up inside that needed to get out.

I told the Lord how much I wanted all 5 of our babies that we have lost, I hope they know how much we wanted them. And again I prayed for patience and to yield to His will in our life. I do feel okay now. I am still looking forward to my first Christmas married to Sweetness. He really does make life worth living. He is so wonderful and supportive through all this madness.

And now to the good. Also on Thursday I had my second interview for a job as a college professor teaching Anatomy and Physiology as well as Microbiology. It went awesome. It really could not have been better. So the last step is on Tuesday I meet with the President of the University. If he likes me I guess that's it. They have already called and said they were working on making an offer letter! So it looks like I have gotten this job and meeting the President is just a formality.

Since I have had a company car for the last 7 years, when I lost my job in October, I lost my car. Well Sweetness and I have been looking for about a week. We narrowed it down to a Honda Accord or a Toyota Camry. They really are about the same and great cars. After Sweetness test drove them both, he said he was more comfortable in the Camry. So yesterday we purchased a 2010 Black Toyota Camry. It really is an amazing car! The ride is incredible! So this has lifted my spirits too! I will post some pictures of it next time.

But that is about all the news. We have an appt with Dr. Robin on Thursday to go over this failed cycle and see what she thinks may be the reason it did not work. Also see what she suggests. But we are going to have to wait for awhile to do anything else. We have spent $25,000 dollars and have no baby. The baby fund is dry. Maybe the Lord will intervene. Only time will tell.

Oh and thank you to all my family and friends who have called and sent sweet messages of encouragement. It really means a lot. We are doing fine and will bounce back. After all, it is the most wonderful time of the year!!!

Ending with a Scripture:
"While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn."
-Luke 2:6-8

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