November 19th it is!

Mom and I had an very encouraging and insightful visit with Dr. Robin today. We had so many questions and she spent over an hour with us and answered every one and more!! I can honestly say that I have never felt more encouraged that we WILL be pregnant by December!

We had tons of questions, mainly about this Lovenox shot issue because of me making these Antibodies. I told her my insurance does not cover Lovenox, so she said we could switch to Heparin, she said it works just as well it just has to be administered 2x a day, and she tries to cut down on the shots. And I was wondering how LONG I would have to be on these injections and she said until we heart a heartbeat(s). So that means about 8-9 weeks. I can so do that!

I am already on BCPs and I start Lupron on Sunday. Our baby frosties will be transferred back into me (where they belong) on Nov 19th!!! I am so glad my mom gets to be a part of this cycle, last time she was in the hospital having her knee replaced, and I did feel as though a huge part of me was not involved. My Mom is the most amazing gift from the Lord. She is my best friend and I am so thankful for her.

I will be sure to keep you all updated as we continually get closer.

On the job deal, I actually feel really good. I have had so many people share their "firing" story with me and how it led to this amazing fork in the road in their life. I know the Lord sends these instances in my life to keep me positive and to remember He is in control. I truly believe that this job loss happened at a good time b/c I get the chance to go back and get our babies and not be all stressed out with work. He really does work all things for good for those that love Him!!

In the land of the Unemployed but still in His hand

Hey guys! Well today has been a rough to say the least. I was fired from my job this morning. It was not because of misconduct or insubordination or anything like that, but because of my sales numbers. Anyone in sales knows how cut throat it can be, and well I got cut!!! :) My numbers were not actually THAT bad, I was at 96.5% to goal, but obviously not enough. And I am actually surprised at how well I am doing. The Lord has been most gracious in this bend in my road. Too many things to list here, but He has really protected Sweetness and I.

So as my Dad says, it's time to "reboot" and turn the Etch-A-Sketch upside down and shake it and let's start over. Apart from eating a half container of Betty Crocker icing tonight as solace, I have been doing great. I know this is going to be for the best. God has a plan for me, and hopefully now that I am out of all this stress, maybe we can make a baby!!! LOL


On the baby front, we said if I lost my job we would not do the frozen cycle in November. Well after calling the clinic today and canceling everything, the Lord has provided an angel and the means to maybe go ahead and do it in November. I am going to call the clinic in the morning and see if I can get my appointment back for Friday, and my mom and I are going to talk to the doctor and see exactly what this cycle entails (now that we know what seems to be wrong with me).


Thank you to all my family and friends who have prayed for us, and have been sooooooo supportive today. The Lord knows just what you need, WHEN you need it. When I got home from getting fired, I had the most wonderful card in the mail from my cousin. It was so cute on "How to Make a Baby"-- it talked all about relaxing, fuzzy socks, and taking lots of naps! It really made me smile. Maybe, just maybe this is our time. Thanks Meredith!


Please keep praying for us and my job situation, and I will let you know what our plan is on Friday! Love y'all!

Ending with a Scripture-

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

-Revelation 21:4

We're gonna try again!!!!

Well Sweetness and I have talked a lot and weighed all the ins and outs about timing, money and everything else that goes into this, and we have decided to do our FET (frozen embryo transfer). Sooooooo, there are many factors that go into all of this; mainly my job. Most of my close friends/family know it is on shaky ground right now because of sales numbers. But we are trusting the Lord in ALL things.

IF I loose my job, we obviously will not spend the $$$ to do the FET, but barring that, we are shooting for the transfer on Nov. 20 or 23rd. I am not getting excited yet, maybe I won't allow myself to at all, the heartbreak of it NOT resulting in a pregnancy is so impossibly heartbreaking I just don't know.

So I have a ultrasound scan on Tuesday morning at the clinic and hopefully a meeting with Dr. Robin to discuss what we are doing differently this time. By that I mean, after it failed in August, she conducted an implantation failure panel on me to see if some different proteins/enzymes were elevated. Well they were, so she said when we tried again I would be on Lovenox shots, prednisone and baby aspirin to help eliminate the mini-blood clots in my uterine lining, which she believes could have not allowed the embryos to implant correctly last time.

I will begin BCPs on Tuesday also, and then all I have to do this cycle is inject Lupron to prevent ovulation, and then they transfer our little "frosties" at the appropriate time. MUCH MUCH simpler than a fresh IVF cycle.

Please keep us in your prayers, and hopefully by Christmas we will have a BFP!!!!! I could not think of any present I want more.... I will sign off for now because LSU and Florida game just came on!!!!

Ending with a Scripture:

"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in

Christ Jesus our Lord."

-Romans 6:23

For this child I have prayed......

I found this poem on another blogger's website that has struggled with infertility also. It touches me every time I read it. Hopefully.... one day..... it will be me.

"There are women that become mothers without effort,

without thought, without patience or loss

and though they are good mothers and

love their children,

I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money

or that I have read more books but because I have

struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited.

I have cried and prayed.

I have endured and planned

over and over again.

Like most things in life,

the people who truly have appreciation

are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.

I will take time to watch my child sleep,

explore and discover.

I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night

to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort,

hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take

another temperature, pop another pill, take another

shot or cry tears of a broken dream.

My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense;

that God has given me this insight,

this special vision with which I will look

upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth

to or a child that God leads me to,

I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.

I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter,

neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been

betrayed by my own body.

I have been tried by fire and hell

many never face, yet given time,

I stood tall.

I have prevailed.

I have succeeded.

I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes I will be a wonderful mother."

-Author Unknown