Money and Hope

Well today I am feeling kind of blah. I mean this infertility thing comes and goes, and I really do have faith that we will be parents, but the when??? The why???

I guess I should feel some hope somewhere. We did our taxes, and our refund will enable us to completely pay off our loan we did for our 2 failed IVFs. So that gives us hope to look toward doing it again. We said we had to pay this loan off first in order to do it again, and the Lord has made a way.

With all of my friends pregnant, posting beautiful ultrasound pictures, my heart just cries, it aches, really wondering when that will ever be us. Sweetness is beginning to loose his very hopeful, always positive attitude. That makes me nervous sometimes. He is sad too and that makes me ache also.

I don't want to be a complainer, I just want us to have a family. Jesus, can you please take this pain away??? Would you give us our miracle? Soon???

A weekend to Remember

Well not too much has been going on with Sweetness and I since i posted last. I have been working some really ungodly hours, and will truly be glad when this 5 week "module" is over, and I start teaching some easier classes.

But Sweetness and I just got home from a wonderful marriage conference at the Founder's Inn produced by Family Life, called "A Weekend to Remember." It has been so fun to just get away with my Sweetness and learn God's ideal of marriage, and that they little things we argue about sometimes, really every married couple disagrees about. The speaker is hilarious, and we really laughed our selves silly!

On a good note, we are supossed to get a huge tax return back, and we will be able to completely pay off the loan we took out to do IVF. So hopefully maybe by this summer we can try IVF again. That is our plan anyway.

Each day I have been taking my BBT now. It does not really change all that much, and it just sometimes feels that my body is betraying me. I don't know if we will ever have children, but I certainly hope that the Lord will heal this deep pain in our hearts. The longer it goes on, the more desperate you start to feel sometimes. But infertility does not define us, it is simply a part of who we are.

Sweetness gave me a dozen Confetti roses today (my favorite). So sweet of him. We are going to dinner with family tomorrow evening at PF Chang's so it should shape up to be a real nice Valentine's Weekend. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend filled with love also!!!

How my life came to be filled with .....Sweetness

I have had several people ask me how I met Sweetness. So I thought I would do a blog post about how the Lord worked in such a miraculous way to bring us together.


I was just coming out of a very dark period in my life. Things seemed to be falling apart at the seams. I sold my house and moved about 30 miles south into a very nice apartment complex. The reason I chose this complex is because they allowed large dogs. Even though my babies are not Great Da.nes, they are not teacup poodles either!


Anyway, not long after I moved in, I noticed Sweetness walking his dog also around the complex and we said a friendly hello a couple of times. I began dating a different man, and unbeknownst to me, Sweetness had told my neighbor friends that he wanted to ask me out. Well after several months the other relationship was not going great, but I hate breakups so foolishly I continued with it. Well after speaking to Sweetness several times, he finally got the nerve up to ask me out. I thought "Hey, why not. He seems nice enough."



I remember it was a Thursday night, we went out for Mexican and had a great conversation, but I remember not being able to eat because I was so nervous around him. I thought that must have meant I really liked him! Well as we drove back to our apartment complex, we parked the car, and ended up sitting in the car for the next 4 hours talking. Most of you who know me IRL, know that my faith is a HUGE part of who I am. So because this was the first time we were really talking, I asked Sweetness about his faith and beliefs. Well to boil those 4 hours down, basically he was raised in the Catholic church, but currently did not attend, but was very open and eager to have a closer relationship with the Lord. So I invited him to church with me that Sunday.




We went to church that Sunday and every Sunday from then on. On the 45 minute drive to my church, we shared our hopes and dreams and I explained why my faith was so important, and all that the Lord had done in my life! Because Sweetness was not a christian at the time, I did not feel I could "date" him and I continued on with my other relationship. However I was developing strong feelings for Sweetness and missed him when I wasn't with him. He was quickly becoming my best friend.




Well on December 9, 2007 after church, Sweetness asked Christ to be Lord of his life, and his life changed dramatically! (Not that it was bad or anything, but when the Lord takes over your life, you are a NEW creature!) Not long after that I realized the other man was not for me, and soon began dating Sweetness. We grew together so quickly, and now had the common thread in our life of Christ as our Savior!




He proposed to me on July 26, 2008 and I knew without a doubt that the Lord had brought us together! (The picture on the top of the blog in the circle is the moment we got engaged!) He has grown into the most amazing Christian. He loves God with all his heart and I feel privileged to have been able to be a part of leading him to the Lord.




We were married 6 months later and I am still amazed when I look back at the amazing circumstances that brought us to this place!!! I adore him. I can't imagine life without him, and and so glad I don't have to.




Thank you Lord Jesus, for knowing exactly who/what I needed in a man, and fashioned my Sweetness to be my perfect helpmate in this life. I am so truly blessed to have this wonderful gift!


Ending with a scripture-

"Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm,and he guided them to their desired haven."

- Psalm 107:28-30