In the land of the Unemployed but still in His hand

Hey guys! Well today has been a rough to say the least. I was fired from my job this morning. It was not because of misconduct or insubordination or anything like that, but because of my sales numbers. Anyone in sales knows how cut throat it can be, and well I got cut!!! :) My numbers were not actually THAT bad, I was at 96.5% to goal, but obviously not enough. And I am actually surprised at how well I am doing. The Lord has been most gracious in this bend in my road. Too many things to list here, but He has really protected Sweetness and I.

So as my Dad says, it's time to "reboot" and turn the Etch-A-Sketch upside down and shake it and let's start over. Apart from eating a half container of Betty Crocker icing tonight as solace, I have been doing great. I know this is going to be for the best. God has a plan for me, and hopefully now that I am out of all this stress, maybe we can make a baby!!! LOL


On the baby front, we said if I lost my job we would not do the frozen cycle in November. Well after calling the clinic today and canceling everything, the Lord has provided an angel and the means to maybe go ahead and do it in November. I am going to call the clinic in the morning and see if I can get my appointment back for Friday, and my mom and I are going to talk to the doctor and see exactly what this cycle entails (now that we know what seems to be wrong with me).


Thank you to all my family and friends who have prayed for us, and have been sooooooo supportive today. The Lord knows just what you need, WHEN you need it. When I got home from getting fired, I had the most wonderful card in the mail from my cousin. It was so cute on "How to Make a Baby"-- it talked all about relaxing, fuzzy socks, and taking lots of naps! It really made me smile. Maybe, just maybe this is our time. Thanks Meredith!


Please keep praying for us and my job situation, and I will let you know what our plan is on Friday! Love y'all!

Ending with a Scripture-

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

-Revelation 21:4

We're gonna try again!!!!

Well Sweetness and I have talked a lot and weighed all the ins and outs about timing, money and everything else that goes into this, and we have decided to do our FET (frozen embryo transfer). Sooooooo, there are many factors that go into all of this; mainly my job. Most of my close friends/family know it is on shaky ground right now because of sales numbers. But we are trusting the Lord in ALL things.

IF I loose my job, we obviously will not spend the $$$ to do the FET, but barring that, we are shooting for the transfer on Nov. 20 or 23rd. I am not getting excited yet, maybe I won't allow myself to at all, the heartbreak of it NOT resulting in a pregnancy is so impossibly heartbreaking I just don't know.

So I have a ultrasound scan on Tuesday morning at the clinic and hopefully a meeting with Dr. Robin to discuss what we are doing differently this time. By that I mean, after it failed in August, she conducted an implantation failure panel on me to see if some different proteins/enzymes were elevated. Well they were, so she said when we tried again I would be on Lovenox shots, prednisone and baby aspirin to help eliminate the mini-blood clots in my uterine lining, which she believes could have not allowed the embryos to implant correctly last time.

I will begin BCPs on Tuesday also, and then all I have to do this cycle is inject Lupron to prevent ovulation, and then they transfer our little "frosties" at the appropriate time. MUCH MUCH simpler than a fresh IVF cycle.

Please keep us in your prayers, and hopefully by Christmas we will have a BFP!!!!! I could not think of any present I want more.... I will sign off for now because LSU and Florida game just came on!!!!

Ending with a Scripture:

"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in

Christ Jesus our Lord."

-Romans 6:23

For this child I have prayed......

I found this poem on another blogger's website that has struggled with infertility also. It touches me every time I read it. Hopefully.... one day..... it will be me.

"There are women that become mothers without effort,

without thought, without patience or loss

and though they are good mothers and

love their children,

I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money

or that I have read more books but because I have

struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited.

I have cried and prayed.

I have endured and planned

over and over again.

Like most things in life,

the people who truly have appreciation

are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.

I will take time to watch my child sleep,

explore and discover.

I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night

to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort,

hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take

another temperature, pop another pill, take another

shot or cry tears of a broken dream.

My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense;

that God has given me this insight,

this special vision with which I will look

upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth

to or a child that God leads me to,

I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.

I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter,

neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been

betrayed by my own body.

I have been tried by fire and hell

many never face, yet given time,

I stood tall.

I have prevailed.

I have succeeded.

I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes I will be a wonderful mother."

-Author Unknown

Rainbows and Friends

Tonight I went to my weekly Bible Study on the book of Esther. Wow has God really shown us some incredible insights!!

So I decided to bake a little something to take for the group. With my grandmother still in the hospital, it has taken me all week to get it done (I stayed up until 2:30am to finish). I thought I would share some pictures with you!

So this is the whole cake with "God's Promises" written on top....

And the reason for that is that the Bible says in Genesis 9, that God was leaving a rainbow to symbolize His commitment to the people to never flood the earth again. That was His PROMISE.......And when the time came to cut the cake, there was as surprise!!!!!
A RAINBOW IS INSIDE !!!!!

We each ate our rainbow cake and remembered the promises of God, the only ones we can really count on !!! We even took some home to our hubbies. It was such a great time! And here we all are (minus me of course)!

I love all you guys, and am so privileged to have such godly girlfriends. I had such a blast and cant wait for Wednesday to do it again!

Headed West to Arizona!

Well, last week I went to Arizona for the first time. It was nice if you like dirt, and lots and lots of cacti and palm trees. Everybody talks about how it's a "dry heat," well I am just here to say dry or not, it was HOT out there!

So I have a few pics for you! Let's begin shall we?

This is my company's new logo....they had some awesome graphics I must say.

These were some cowskulls, actually chocolate covered strawberries, that they served us during one of our breaks. I thought they were really neat, so hence I took a picture!!!
On Thursday night, they threw a party for all the sales reps, and here are some of those! They had a hand-rolled cigar stand there. Not my thing, but it sure was a hit with my co-workers!

They had a really awesome band, and later in the evening it turned into a karoke party. This is a pic of my co-worker Bethany belting out "I will Survive."

These are members of my district, Beth Ann and Bethany.

They had these cool lighted seats. They also had some bubble light up seats out on the lawn in front of the band. Pretty cool.

My buds Jill and Justin.

These are more co-workers chattin' it up!

This is my fearless leader, or should I say boss Dave.

Now let's take a look around the beautiful resort we were staying at, shall we? This is the view outside of my door, just one of the many pools they had there.

And this cracked me up, as I have never seen it before. The air is so dry out there, that they have built in "spritzers" at the outside sports bar. Can you see it spraying out?

This is a beautiful fire and water display in the main courtyard.

Just beautiful plants with the main fountain.

And the last pictures are of some lovely scenery around Arizona.



I had a real nice time, but I really missed my husband! It is so nice to be home and with him. We have run non-stop since I got home. My grandmother is very ill and in the hospital. So we have been up at the hospital quite a bit, but life is very good I must say.

No word on when we will do the FET, just waiting on God's timing! See ya soon!

Our new furniture!

Well once again, blogger is loading pictures so weird. It will NOT let me type above or below the pics! The above pictures are our awesome new furniture as promised in our last post. We rearranged our living room, and dining room as shown in the first two pictures. We LOVE this new furniture, and most importantly it does not hurt my NECK!!!!

We are very blessed, and are so thankful for family and friends that helped us move it all! Hope you enjoy them. I am not to sure about the pillows that came with them. I think I am going to get some light blue chenille pillows. What do ya'll think???

Fall is coming........

Hey peeps! Sorry I have not been keeping up with my blogging as much lately. When you are going through IVF, it seems like every day there is something going on and you are blogging all the time!!!!

Well last post I told you we were doing the last 2 tests in the fertility workup. Well the HSG came back great. Both of my tubes are open!!! Praise Jesus! The post-coital test was "inconclusive." So we will be waiting until next month to repeat that test as it is very specific to a certain time of your cycle.

Most of you who know me IRL, know that I suffered a severe neck injury on a roller coaster in July 2006. I have been through every treatment imaginable, (pain doctors, PT, MRIs, facet injections, TENS unit, anti-inflammatories etc.) and they have diagnosed me with Occipital Nerve Neuralgia. Well there is no treatment, just managing the pain. Since TTC, I stoped my med I was on because it causes a decrease in amniotic fluid in pregnancies, and needless to say my neck has been getting so bad that this past weekend, I was unable to function. Today I missed work and went to the doc and he started me on a new med for nerve pain, not a narcotic but supposed to help. I am in bad shape with this injury and really dread the thought of living the rest of my life with this pain. But Sweetness and I are praying about it, and that the Lord would take this from me. Maybe He will.

So with all of that going on, we decided this weekend to buy new furniture that does not push my neck forward because the back of our current furniture is so high. We are very exited about our new couch and love seat, and they will be here on Thursday. Don't worry I will post pics!

We are still waiting on the Lord's leading as to when the right time is for the doing the FET. It seems to us now that it will be later than mid-October.

And probably the best thing is going on is in 8 days....FALL IS HERE!! I love fall mainly for the football weather, but also love for sweater weather, hot chocolate, snuggly sweatshirts etc. Bring it on baby! I am so excited!

Thanks for the prayers and comments, we will show you our new furniture in the next post!!!! Take Care!