Feeling Blah......and a quote

I'm just gonna post a quote today. Feeling kind of blah, wishing Friday would hurry up!

This spoke to me.....

"God knows when something glorious in the future necessitates something difficult in the present. Because He knows the glory will be worth it, God will risk being misunderstood."

-Beth Moore

There is still HOPE...........

Hey! Just wanted to leave a quick update! I just finished laying our new floor in the kitchen for 4 hours! My back is done! But I called the fertility clinic today, and the nurse told me that it is by no means over yet, just because I have not gotten a BFP on a HPT. She said it will not show up for two weeks, that's why they are not doing the test until 2 weeks after transfer. I know many of you who have done IVF have gotten BFPs on day 7 or 8pt, but she assured me that there is still plenty of hope.

I had my first cry about the whole situation. I have been keeping it all bottled up I think, and boy did it flow today. But I am holding on to the little bit of hope I got today. Maybe just a little nugget from the Lord telling me to hang on. HE will have the final say on Friday's beta test!

Thanks for still praying for our little embryos!

Home Improvements......

Well this weekend has been sort of depressing for me, since we keep getting BFN (Big Fat Negative) on the home pregnancy tests. So to take my mind off all this IVF baby stuff for awhile, we decided to pour ourselves into some LONG overdue home improvements. So we decided to redo the guest bathroom...... This is what it looked like to begin with. The sink top is yellow (ick!) and if you look closely you can see on the left side where the previous owners laid cigarettes and they burnt the porcelain! Soooo tacky!

This is the ugly linoleum floor, just yucky.....
So....... when we pulled the old vanity out, I kid you not, this is what we found UNDERNEATH the vanity! It looks like when they built this house over 20 years ago, they just put the vanity right in over all the trash on the floor. I mean seriously....... how disgusting!
Then, when we pulled up the old floor, the paper backing stuck down on the concrete. Sweetness spent 3 hours the first night scraping all that junk up! The brown towel on the floor is covering the hole where the toilet sits. It really was not a fun job!
And......



This is the finished project! It actually turned out very nice! The new vanity sink is bright WHITE, gone is the dingy yellow. And we ended up having to paint all the walls a fresh coat of bright white, and it look sooooo good!!!!

Notice the new floor we put in...... it really turned out nice!

And I love the new faucet we picked out! Yeah!!!! You will never believe how many problems we encountered in this little overhaul, but we did it OURSELVES, and we are very proud!

So then we decided to tackle another project that has been looming..... Let me explain! When I bought this house almost 2 years ago, the spare bedroom was a bright red color. So gross. So I painted it a very soft sky blue (perfect for baby boys :)) Well the closet doors that were on the two large closets were metal and covered in some disgusting brown tissue paper. So I had them taken down when I replaced the carpet in the whole house prior to moving in. Well, lets just say they have never been replaced, and we have looked at this the whole time......

Well tonight we did manage to get up one side of the new doors, also no small feat, but wow they look good! Why did I wait so long?????? This is a pic of the left side, showing the new sliding doors....... the right closet will get done tomorrow night. Right Sweetness????

Well folks,, that is all our excitement for this weekend. I wish with all my heart I had a BFP to report, but I don't. I have talked to several praying friends, and they are all agreeing with me to let God have the last word on Friday's beta test. I am still praying for our miracle, and trusting that God will have the final say, I just have to be patient, and anyone that knows me well knows that is not my strongest virtue.

Again, thank you for praying for us. Sweetness refuses to give up hope that our babies are still in there, and that really makes my heart happy. He is sooo wonderful, my greatest gift from the Lord (apart from my salvation). We will see what this week holds for us, hopefully reason to celebrate!

Ending with a scripture close to my heart:

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop may fail and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior!"

-Habakkuk 3:17-18

On egg shells.....

Hey girls! Well I am still waiting on the Lord, because I have taken an HPT everyday since last Wednesday, and they are all BFN!!!!! I am getting really scared that this did not work. I mean how can you put in two perfect embryos and nothing happen??? I honestly don't think I really prepared myself for it NOT working....and I am now trying to bring myself to this very real possibility. I feel so scared, depressed, angry, and hopeful all at the same time.

I wanted/want these babies so badly, my heart hurts to think that they left me. Sweetness sill feels sure that the test will turn positive tomorrow or the next day, but I have been reading all these IVF blogs and everyone that got a BFP got it on like day 7 or 8 after transfer. Tomorrow (Sunday) is my Day 8, and I am still believing God for my miracle.

Please pray for me, as I struggle to keep positive and desperately hope against hope that our sweet babies are still here in me. Love you guys......

What are they doing in there?

Still nothing to report! Sweetness and I are just trusting the Lord that our precious ones are snuggled in inside their mommy and growing. I wanted to know what they are doing at each stage (even before we have our BFP) so I added the little ticker at the left at the top. May 3 rd would be the estimated due date based on the date of my egg harvesting. If we have twins, the due date would be about a month before that in April.

I also added the picture of the embryos to the right side, so I can look at them all the time. My stomach feels tight and a bit heavy, but no more cramping thankfully. Yesterday I went in and they took blood work to check my estrogen level to make sure it is coming back down after all the stimming meds, and it is right where they want it!

Tomorrow night my Dad is coming over to help sweetness replace the vanity in our guest bathroom, I will take pics of the before and after. Should be good times!

Thanks everyone for continuing to pray for us, this waiting is the hardest part!

The Waiting......

Hey ya'll!!! Just a quick post to let you know what's going on.....We are in the dreaded 2WW (2 week wait) to find out if our little ones have decided to stay with us. The fertility clinic says I am PUPO, in IVF lingo that is Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise. I love it!!!!

I am having some cramping and am so scared something is happening, but lots of friends said they had cramping too, and it could be the babies implanting. I laid down and did not move for the first 40 hours like a good girl, but man was my back killing me! I wanted to get up! But for the babies I will do anything!

Not much to report right now. I go back to the clinic in the morning. I am not sure what they will be doing, I think just getting an estrogen level. I will keep you posted..... Please keep praying for our miracles!!!

Ending tonight with a scripture-

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart"

-Psalm 37:4

Snuggle in little babies.....

Well here they are...... our precious little ones! These two embryos were transferred into me today. The one at the top is a grade 8A ( 8 cells, perfect morphology) and the one on the bottom is grade 8A- because it has some fragmenting. The other 3 were frozen and all were of excellent quality.

So Sweetness and I arrived at the clinic, so full of hope......

And I started taking pictures of all the wonderful people who helped make this happen. This is Martina, the IVF Coordinator. This lady is so amazingly kind and she walks you through each step. Love you !!!!
And this is Ms Patty, my nurse today and Wednesday when they harvested the eggs. She is soooo funny! She really helped the doc when I decided to stop breathing on Wednesday. Thanks Patty!
So here we are getting on our OR attire, Sweetness was allowed to stay in the room for the transfer (which I was so glad about). Doesn't he look cute?

And then they start forcing you to drink gallons of water, because your bladder has to be full for the transfer. Here I am trying to get it all down!

To be honest, the transfer was very hard. Dr Robin could not get the catheter into my uterus because it was bent up at a 90 degree angle. She tried everything. After many tears and prayers from us all, God made a way, right when she was going to give up, and the catheter went in!!! God is working miracles all over this whole process. Then Dr Robin put our two precious babies in, and you could see the two white dots on the screen, very cool!!!!

Before she left, while I laid on my back, she took a very sweet picture with me......

She is the most wonderful doctor.....I cant say enough how thankful I am to have her as my RE!!! Thank you Dr Robin for making dreams come true!

Well I have more I could say, but this is incredibly hard to type laying on your back. But this is where I will stay for the next 2 days.

Snuggle in little babies, I will give you a nice warm home!!! We love you already!

Thank you for the prayers everyone as we wait for two weeks to find out if I become pregnant!